Lost Within Love
by MunroCFans
Summary: Will Clare give it up to Eli.And will she regret it from the day she did?
1. Eli

Lost Within Love-chapter 1

"Clare honey do you need a ride to school"

My mother screamed

"No mom a friend is picking me up"

My friend who is Elijah Goldsworthy that drives a hearse.. yea a hearse but who am I to judge. Eli was a witty, sarcastic, obnoxious, sweet, cute, amazing boy who I am totally in love with. The only problem is I don t know if he feels the same. I mean he flirts one day and then totally ignores me the next I don t know is it just boys in generally.  
BEEP BEEP BEEP

It s Eli.  
"Bye mom see you later I call out".

I walk out the door and step into Eli s car. I give him a_ lets get the hell_ out of here look.

"What, no hello not even a good morning , Clare since when have you become so mean"

"Shut up and get me to school if I am late it s on your ass"

"OH MY CLARE since when has your language become so offensive?"

I smirk and he drives off.

"so blue eyes what do you say we take off Eli says with one of his famous smirks"

"What you mean skip?" I say

"If you want to get official"

I take a minute and think about it I could get into a lot of trouble. But on the up side it would be alone time with Eli.

"Ok but where would we go"

"it is a surprise"

As I wait to get to this so called surprise Eli has got planned Eli puts on a song and it is the song that was playing the first time we met. When he complimented me on my eyes. The first day I thought that 10 grade wasn t going to be so bad.

We arrive to this place that is to beautiful There is a water fall and there is this big oak tree with leaves that were so beautiful and then there was a cabin.

"What is this place" I ask in disbelief

"It is my runaway place. When I runaway to get my thoughts together this is where I come"

He takes me underneath the big oak tree and for a few minutes we just stare into each other s eyes. Until we start getting closer to each other. And then I feel his soft lips on mine. It s like fireworks were going off on top of our heads.

"Eli, I have to ask you something serious"

"Shoot"

"Do you..uh like me?"

He leans in for a kiss and I do the same.

"Does that give you an answer? Clare I want to show you the back of my car" he says with a smirk

"Sure"


	2. Virginity

Lost Within Love-chapter 2

Eli brings me to his car. He opens the back door to his hearse.

"Clare don t just stand there Get in"

I get into his car to discover cd s, papers and clothes all throw around but other than that it was pretty neat.

"Eli um what do you want to do?"

"I have an idea"

Eli smirks and then pushes me to the floor of his hearse playfully. He starts to kiss me. Then the kiss started to get more passionate. All I know was I wanted Eli right there and then I didn t care about my promise I loved Eli. He started playing with the hem of my shirt. "Wait, Eli I don t want to have sex" I say nervously. "Who says I want to have sex? Can t I pleasure a girl" He ends the sentence of with a sexy smirk. I let him take off my shirt. He started to grope my breasts and at the moment all I heard was my mom s voice in my head saying no. But it was my decision not hers. It is not like she waited to have sex. Why was she being such a hypocrite? "Are you ok Clare? Do you want me to stop?" He says in a concerned tone. "No I was just thinking. Keep going" He unhooks my bra and I get a little shy for a moment no boy has ever seen my boobs and I wanted to keep it that way. But it was Eli. "DON T LOOK" I scream. "Clare, you re beautiful in every way I am not going to judge you." He begins to suck on my left nipple which causes me to let out a moan. While he is doing that he gropes my other breast. Then he puts his hand up my skirt and pulls of my panties. He pulls up my skirt and he starts so massage my inner thighs. He gets closer to my area and then he begins to rub my clit. A moan left my lips I just couldn t help it I wanted Eli inside me so bad. "ELIII OHH" I said biting my lip while taking a grip of his hair. With that note he sticks his finger inside me and I moan even loader. "ELIII YESSS" I start to feel my abdomen start getting tighter. He takes out his finger and starts to suck on my clit. Now the pressure in my abdomen is getting even tighter "ELII" he then entered me with his tongue. It was amazing he started off slow but then he got faster and faster and then that pressure in my abdomen sprung loose and with that I scream "ELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII" . He gave me a smirk and started kissing my neck. I put my clothes back on and we lay next to each other gazing into each other s eyes for a second thinking Did we just do that?

"So Clare bear did I rock your world?" He says with a cocky smirk

"Could you be more smug" I literally scream out

"Absolutely!"

He gets up and looks at me and says

"So should we head back home?"

I look at my watch to see the time

"HOLY CRAP it is 1:00 we missed half of school" I scream

"Don t be such a saint Clare we will drive back to school just in time for lunch nobody will even know that we skipped." He said

"Fine"

We drive back to school to be greeted by Adam looking worried.

"CLARE ELI WHERE HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN HAS BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR YOU HE IS SEARCHING FOR YOU AS WE SPEAK." Adam screams.

"WHAT how does he know we skipped?" I say

"The school called your mom and your mom said that you left for school in the morning I tried covering but my mom saw right threw me"

"OH NO ELI WHAT ARE WE GONNA GO" I practically scream at the top of my lungs

"We will just wait it out whatever happens, happens"

We all turn our head to a screaming voice saying "ELI CLARE WHERE HAVE YOU BOTH BEEN WE WERE WORRIED SICK YOU GUYS ARE IN BIG TROUBLE"

Oh no Eli and I were in for a rude awaking.


	3. Meeting

Lost Within Love-chapter3

"Mr. Simpson I am so sorry we skipped it will never ever happen again." I gave Eli a stern look.

"Clare what are apologizing for, we saved a dog s life don t we get some credit here?" Eli blurted out.

"Clare, Eli I had no idea. what happened?" Mr. Simpson said is a sympathetic tone.

"See Mr. Simpson we saw this dog in a trash can and it was all dirty and it looked hurt so I brought it back to my place and we cleaned him up. We got to know him and then we decided it would be best if we put up lost dog signs and then we waited and waited, until someone called and got toby back. It was a real heart felt moment."Eli said with a smirk

"Clare is this true?" Mr. Simpson replied

I didn t know what to do. Should I lie with Eli or should I throw myself under the bus. Wait if I do throw my self under the bus Eli was coming with me so I should just nod and smile.

"Yes this is true. Poor toby would have never made it if Eli and I weren t there" I said with a smile on my face about to laugh.

"Well then I can t give you detention for such a kind act like that you too are off the hook... for now" Mr. Simpson said with a stern but nice look.

As Mr. Simpson passed us I look at Eli about to laugh and I just start to giggle because he got us un-in trouble. And the best part was I didn t even feel guilty about lying. What we did in the back of his car was, Nice and I would love to do it again.

"So saint Clare how does it feel to lie?" Eli said with a smile.

"It feels damn good?" I scream.

"Oh I think you mean what we did in the back of my car felt damn good ;)" He smirked his way through the sentence.

I knew Eli thought of me as a whole different person. Does Eli really have that much of an impact oh my personality that I am acting out like this? I don t really mind because it is Eli.

Later That Day

**Eli-Gold49**-Hey Clare bear what s going on there?

**Clare-e23**- I am working on an English project you?

**Eli-Gold49**-I am wondering if your parents are home :)

**Clare-e23**- They aren t. You want to come over?

**Eli-Gold49**-I thought you would never ask.

**Eli-Gold49 signed out.**

Oh my god Eli was coming over. I never really had any boys in my room or in my house. Was he expecting something more then what I wanted to give him. No Clare you just thinking too much into stuff. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Oh no Eli was here.


	4. I love you

Lost Within Love-Chapter 4

I opened the door to see Eli standing there with a smirk on his face.

"You gonna let me in blue eyes?"

"Yea uh come in Eli"

I walk Eli to my room which is yellow and everything in it was bright. Oh I forgot Eli doesn t do bright.

"Wow Clare uh nice room you want to blind me some more"

"Shut up Eli"

With that Eli tackles me to my bed and starts to kiss my neck. He gives me butterfly kisses. He was kissing me so passionately but gentle at the same time.

"Eli..i think I am in love with you" I say with a serious look on my face

"Blue eyes I KNOW I am in love with you"

He started to pull up my shirt and surprisingly I didn t stop him. He started kissing my belly and then he went up to my mouth and started to kiss me. His tongue outlined the bottom of my lip and he wanted in. So I parted my lips for him. I didn t really know what to do. K.C never kissed me like this it was always little kisses. This give was something more. He took off my shirt and began to unhook my bra. There he was looking at my breasts. He began to suck on my right nipple and grope the other. Soon after I tugged on his shirt giving him a ok to take it off. He looked surprised. He took off his shirt and there I saw him shirtless. I started to blush but he keeps on going. He took off my jeans and my panties. "Eli no fair your wearing pants." I see that he has a certain bulge where his Penis is. Am I getting Eli hard? I blush a little. He starts to kiss my inner thigh. Right there I knew I wanted to lose my virginity to him. I love him and wanted him to have me. All of me. He brings his kissed up to my neck then he whispers in my ear. "Clare do you really want this?" "Eli I love you and I want you to have me it doesn t matter if we aren t married you love me and I love you that is all that matters." He continues his actions He starts to lick my clit and I couldn t help but to say his name "ELI OH YEA ." He begins to enter me with his tongue and let me tell you it feels amazing. He goes fast and faster. I take his hair and I almost pull it out. He moaned when I pulled his hair. I brought him up for a kiss. I turn so it changes our position so now I am on top of Eli. I pull down his boxer and he is harder than I thought. I mean his veins were popping out kind of hard. I began to grope his penis and he started to moan my name. I blush a little when he did. Without even a warning He flips me over so he is on top of me. "Clare, are you ready I can t wait for you any longer." "Yes Eli I am ready." "Clare, I am sorry if I hurt you just tell me when to stop." With that note he gets into position and I feel the tip of his penis start to enter me. The pain from that was unbearable but I held it in. He waited for my ok to start moving. He started to thrust back and forth slowly. Then his motions began to get a little faster. I started to feel a tear drop down. "Clare, You want me to stop I can t take hurting you." "No Eli keep going" He begins to thrust again but now the pain had subsided. Our breathing became more heavy and loud. I started to moan his name. "Eliii FASTERR" The tight thing in my abdomen came again. But this time it was much stronger I couldn t control myself. "CLAREEE" He screamed. I was about to freak out. The pressure sprung out of control and I couldn t contain it. "ELII OH YEA ELLI ." A few minutes later the same happened to Eli. He fell on top of me and rolled over.

"Clare that was amazing."

"Yes you weren t too bad yourself" I say with one of his smirks.

"Oh yea Eli did you use a condom?" I say with a nervous looks on my face.


	5. Preggers

Lost Within Love-Chapter 5

"Wait Clare Don t get mad I doubt you re even pregnant" Eli replied

"So you re saying you didn t wear a condom? WTF Eli I trusted you with my virginity the least you can do is remember we need to be protected." I screamed

"Don t worry it s not the end of the world and if you are pregnant would it even be that bad. You love me and I love you we could get threw it together." "Fuck what if I am Eli how long do I have to wait to take the pregnancy test like a few hours?"

"uh Clare about 3 days be patient the worst that could happen is your mom screams my dad screams and you give it up for adoption or we keep it ABORTION IS OUT OF THE PICTURE CLARE so don t even think about it."

"Eli I would never get an abortion."

"Clare I have to go sorry but my dad might wonder where I am it is getting late."

"Bye Eli."

**Later that night**

I should call Ali and see if she can help me out here.

"Hello" Ali says

"Hey Ali can I tell you something really important?"

"CLARE BEAR YOU LOST IT TO ELI DIDN T YOU."

"Is it that obvious?"

"Yea sort of I didn t really know If you wanted to go that far with him but it looks like you did but is that all you were going to tell me?"

"No actually. When we did it He didn t use protection and now I have to wait 3 days till I know if I am pregnant!"

"Oh that isn t good. Well I will come with you to get the pregnancy test 3 days right? You can do it at my place Sav won t mind"

"Thanks Ali you re a real life saver."

"Don t worry about it now go get some sleep Clare."

"Bye Ali."

I should get some sleep maybe all this stress will magically be gone in the morning.

**3 days later**

So ever since the whole Am I pregnant thing Eli and I haven t talked so much, but today is the day I find out if I am pregnant or not. I walk over to Ali s house to see Eli s hearse parked in front of her house. What was he doing here? I barge threw the front door to see Eli, Ali and Sav sitting around the dinner table with the pregnancy test.

"Ali why is Eli here?"

"Oh thanks Clare what did you not want me to be here?" Eli answered instead of Ali.

"Let s just get this over with." I say

I take the pregnancy test and bring it in the bathroom. The constructions are confusing but I get threw them time to wait 1 minute. A red line comes up ..Positive. FUCK I am pregnant what am I going to do my mother is going to kill me, Eli and I are way too young to get married. My life is in pieces and I don t know what to do. I walk down stairs and everyone is awaiting the results. "Hey guys uh I am NOT PREGNANT." I say with a fake smile on my face.


	6. Lying

Lost Within Love-Chapter 6

Everyone had a sigh of relief but not Ali.

"Clare, may I speak with you in my room." Ali says

"Sure."

Oh no I can tell by the look on her face that she knew I was lying what the hell should I say.

"Clare are you serious?"

"No, I m not I just said I m not pregnant for Eli I don t want to put that stress on him."

"Clare, it s not like he didn t help you make the baby he needs to know."

"Fine I will tell him right now. Bring him up here."

Ali left the room to get Eli. How was I going to tell him I am pregnant and what if he asks me why I lied I don t know what to do.

"Hey Clare Ali told me you wanted me?"

"Yea I need to tell you something."

"What is it babe?"

"I... uh... I... am... uh... Im really happy I am not pregnant" I mumbled out

"Yes uh me too."

Eli and I go down stairs to see Ali smiling.

"Hey Eli I am so glad Clare told you she was pregnant do you have any idea what is going to happen next?"

The room went silent. Eli s smile went to a plain dull face. He looked at me then he just left. I heard his car ignition and then I heard him drive away.

"ALI I DIDN T TELL HIM!"

"Clare I am so sorry I didn t mean to I thought you told him that you are pregnant."

"Well I didn t I chickened out what should I do."

"You should call him right away and tell him you want to talk to him."

"Fine, Fine... I will...later?"

"NO Clare right now."

I pull out my phone and try calling Eli. It rings, and rings he doesn t answer. RING. My phone went off it was Eli.

"Hello Eli I am so sorry I didn t mean to-"

I was cut off by Eli

"Clare just shut the hell up and met me at the dot this isn t like you Clare I want to talk and if there are any more god damn lies I never want to see you again."

He hung up the phone. I walked myself over to the dot to see Eli sitting down with a cup of coffee for me.

"Hey Clare sorry about the phone call I was just really mad."

"Don t worry totally understandable."

"Listen now that your pregnant I think it is time we tell your mom and my dad."

I felt instant anxiety about the whole situation

"But who should we tell first?"

"Your mom, I fell she will be more understanding"

"Ok Eli."

We drive to my house and lucky me my mom s car is in the driveway. I wanted to put off this whole situation for as long as possible.

"Eli you want to go back you your place and make some magic?"

"Clare, stop trying to procrastinate this by using sex against me we are telling your mom."

We get out of the car and I accidentally drop my keys.

"Oops I am such a klutz."

I see it in Eli s face that he knows I am doing this on purpose he grabs my keys and pulls me by my arm to the door. He unlocks the door and my mom happens to be on the couch watching T.V.

"Mom, Eli and I have to tell you something."

"Yes honey what is it?"

"I..uh I love you so much mom."

"I love you too honey".

Eli was really pissed now.

"Mrs. Edwards, Your daughter is pregnant."


	7. Parents

Lost Within Love-Chapter 7

I give Eli a stern look. I can t believe he just stood there and said that. I didn t want to know what my mom was going to say. Her mouth was open and she couldn t believe what Eli had just told her.

"Clare honey, sit down."

I take her advice and take a seat. Eli is standing by the door I could tell he was awkward.

"What do you want to do with the baby Clare?"

"Wait mom you re not mad?"

"No what am I going to do about it now? I trust that you really love Eli. And I don t know if he loves you but it looks like it." We both look at Eli near the door just standing there.

"Hey Mrs. Edwards"

"Eli its ok you can sit down I want to know what you guys are going to do with this baby."

"We ll we didn t really go over that." Eli says awkwardly

"Clare, Eli I think it would be in your best interest to give up this baby your guys aren t ready to be parents."

"I think she is right Clare we aren t ready."

"No I want to keep this baby and mom you can t tell me what to do with it."

"Clare I am just telling you for your own good."

"No mom you want to control me and my baby well it isn t going to happen."

"CLARE we're just trying to look out for you" Eli practically screams

"Wait your on her side, Eli I want this baby I want us to be together Eli I love you so much I can t give this baby up its part of me and its part of you."

"Clare I know it s hard but we aren t ready don t you think the baby should have a stable home."

"Eli and I are only looking out for your best interest trust me it is going to be hard doing it at such a young age. Don t make the same mistake as me. That s why I wanted you to be pure."

"Are you saying I am dirty mom? Was Darcy a mistake now? Eli let s leave."

I drag Eli out of the house to his hearse. I didn t want to be in that house for one more second I just wanted to be with Eli and only Eli. He and the baby were my life now and I am ok with that.

"Clare we can't"

I cut him off.

"Listen Eli get in the car and let s drive somewhere I don t want to hear your shit I am having this baby and there is nothing anyone can do about it."

"If you really want to keep it then, Fine but we are getting our own place. And I pick the name :)"

"Fine Eli" I said with a smile

"How about we take this to my house my dad is still at work we can have some alone time."

"I would love that Elijah." He hates it when I call him that. We go back to his place and it was amazing.

"Eli your house is so nice."

"What did you expect a trash can?" He smirked

"Shut up."

We walk into his house and down to his basement which was his own little apartment. It was so Elijah Goldsworthy. He takes my hand and pulls me to the bed.

"So Clare what do you want to do play scrabble?" He teased

"I think you know what I want Elijah."


	8. Scared

Lost Within Love-Chapter 8

After me and Eli made love at his place, He walked me home because Morty broke down again. On our way to my house we stopped at a park.

"Eli I m scared."

"Scared of what?

"I am scared of everything. Of moving in together, and especially having our baby."

"Don t be, everything will turn out ok I promise"

We get a move on heading home. I turn around and I notice a man following us.

"Eli don t be to suspicious but someone is following us turn around."

Eli turns around to check if someone was following us and he saw nothing.

"Blue eyes there is nobody behind us."

I turn around to see and there isn't anybody there.

"Oh must have just been me."

We finally get to my place and he leaves me with a goodbye kiss.

"See you tomorrow blue eyes"

"Bye Eli"

I am really scared to walk into my house I don t know what to expect out of my mom. But I walk in anyway.

"Mom you here Mommmmmm."

No answer. I walk into my kitchen and there is a not from my saying

_Listen honey I know you are mad at me but if your reading this just know I am not in the house because I had an emergency at work and can you go out and get more milk because we ran out_

_ Love, Mom_

Great already making me work. I take my keys and I walk out the door. I go to the story and buy the milk. As I was walking back I could have sworn I saw the same guy I did with Eli. So I walk a little faster but the man starts to walk faster. In a panic I start to run. The guy was running after me and he caught up to me. He pushed me in an alley.

"If I were you bitch I wouldn t talk. The guy blurted out."

I didn t want to get hurt and I didn t want to put the baby in harm s way. So I did as he said and didn t scream. He had a black mask on that he had put on soon before because when I first saw this man he was not wearing a mask I couldn t see who he was. He wasn t that violent yet. He starts to take off his mask and I saw who it was. It was K.C. How could I have not notice it was him walking behind us.

"I heard you were pregnant is this true?" He asked

"Were did you hear that?"

"JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION CLARE." He screamed

"No I am not."

"So you wouldn t mind if I do this."

As he spoke those words he kicked me in the stomach. I curled up in a ball. The pain was unbearable. I was worried about my baby at this point. _Was I going to make it out alive? Will my baby make it out alive? Will I ever see Eli again?_ All these questions I was dwelling on.

"OUCH K.C please don t do this."

"SHUT UP BITCH."

He begins to ripe me by my hair to the corner of the alley. I try to stand up but he just pushes me down.

"You lose it to that Emo guy but when I wanted it you couldn t give it to me. Well I am going to make you regret that."

**REVIEW!**


	9. Losing

Lost Within Love-Chapter 9

Just as K.C was unzipping his pants I kicked him really hard in his nards. He bent over in pain and I ran like the wind. I ran and ran and ran until I reached Eli s house. **_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_** He quickly opens the door.

"Clare what happened."

I run inside and pull him with me and I lock the door and sit on the couch with him.

"The man that I thought was following us well he was and it was K.C he pulled me in an alley and he tried to-."

Eli cut me off.

"I m gonna kill him."

Eli gets up and just as he is about to walk out I pull him in and say.

"Know that s not the worst part."

As I was saying that I felt a pain come from my stomach and I bent over in agony.

"Eli I am bleeding."

I was bleeding from my vagina and I didn t know why.

"Clare i am going to call 911."

Eli runs and gets the phone and calls was happening so quickly.

"Clare, do you have any clue why you are bleeding? Are you sure it s not your period?"

"NO ELI HE KICKED ME HE KICKED ME IN THE STOMACK I THINK IT S THE BABY."

Eli started to go crazy he started to cry along with me. I didn t know when the ambulance was going to get here but this pain. I can t do it anymore it hurts. We hear sirens and Eli walks me outside. They ask what happened and I told them everything. They quickly rush me to the hospital because they think something is wrong with the baby. I was there for a couple of hours they needed to keep me over night. I assumed Eli called my mom because she was here. I feel asleep and soon enough it was morning. I woke up to Eli right by my side. I decide to go back to sleep because I was really tired I hear a nurse walk in and ask for Eli. I sneak a peek through the glass window and I could see Eli s facial expression. Soon enough he was crying. He walked in and I pretended to be asleep.

"Clare wake up for me please."

I did so.

"Eli, is everything Ok you looks sad."

"No. Everything isn t ok when he when he-"

I continued his sentence knowing what he was going to say next.

"When he kicked me in the stomach he injured the baby."

I was hoping Eli would correct me and that wasn t what he was going to say.

"No Clare he didn t harm the baby."

I let out a big breathe of air. But little did I know he wasn t finished.

"He killed the baby. Eli said sobbing."

I couldn t believe what I just heard. I looked at him in disbelief but I knew he wasn t lying. I couldn t help the tears. It was our baby. And it was now gone. All because of that dick K.C .He was going to pay. I don t care how. But I knew he was going to pay.

chapter's 10 and 11 might be up later. **NO PROMISES ON CHAPTER 11. **but i am pretty sure chapter 10 will be up :)


	10. Sex

Lost Within Love-Chapter 10

After the whole incident my mom let me stay home from school for a week. But the bad part was I couldn t see Eli until after school which mad me angry. I can t believe K.C would do that. Now my baby is gone. I was like a walking zombie at home. I didn t want to do anything. I was sick to my stomach. I went in to the bathroom and just looked at myself is disgust._ Clare you should have run. Why didn t you protect Eli s baby. You re so stupid. Nobody would care if you just kill yourself right now._ I take a look at the razor blade on the bathroom sink. I pick it up and put it to my wrist._ No Clare Eli would die if he knew you killed yourself. Don t put Eli through this again. Not another girlfriend._ I slowly put the razor down. I convinced myself not to cut. Good for me. I walk out of the bathroom and see that it is 3:20. Eli should be here soon.

Later On

Eli comes knocking on my door and I open it letting him inside.

"Hey blue eyes you ok?" He had sadness in his voice.

"Yea I am fine."

I walk him up to my room and bring him in my bed.

"Eli, you said everything will be fine why isn t it?" I question

"Well if I could have seen this happening"

I rest my head on his chest. Hearing his heart beat made me love him even more.

"Eli I love you so much, I am so sorry K.C took our baby away from us."

"Its..Its fine Clare." I could tell if he ever saw K.C again he would kill him.

"He is in jail now he got what he deserved." I said crying.

"Clare bear please don t cry you know it hurts me to see you cry."

He kissed my forehead and then he starts to kiss my neck. He comes on top of me and kisses my lips.

"Eli My mom is in the other room."

We will be quiet about it.

He then pulls off my shirt and unhooks my bra. I begin to unbuckle his belt and take his pants off. 5 minutes passes and we were both completely naked. He takes something out of his pocket from his pants on the floor. "Eli what is that." "It is a condom; we don t want to make the same mistake twice." He takes the condom out of the rapper and puts it on. He then pulls me closer and enters me. He begins slowly." Eli, please faster." He obeys. I try not to moan loud because my mother was in the other room." Eli go faster." He begins to go even faster. I bit my bottom lip from this pleasure he was giving me. "OH CLARE" I switch positions and I am on top of him now. I begin to pull my own weight up and down. His hands were on my waist guiding me. I begin to fell an orgasm coming on. I arch my back with pleasure and then he cums. I plop down next to him. Both of us were breathing heavily. Next thing you know, we go for a second round.

**SORRY FOR THE SHORT CHAPTER BUT ENJOY! AND CHAPTER 11 SHOULD BE UP BY LATE TOMORROW**


	11. Friends with benefits

**So this isn't the longest chapter but you guys thanks for all he nice reviews and there isn't a lot of Eli in this chapter its more of Adam and Clare but i promise you it is worth reading ENJOY!**

* * *

Lost Within Love-Chapter 11

By the time we were done with round 2 it was about 8 o clock. Wow I still can t believe my mom didn t hear any of that. And I still can t believe it went on for that long I mean. Eli and I were freaks in bed.

"I didn t know you had it in your Clare." I rolled my eyes after he said that.

"Well Eli you bring it out of me." He smirks playfully.

"So blue eyes I think I should get going."

"Shoot yea I guess so I love you Eli more then you could ever know."

"Well now how am I going to compare to that line oh yea I know how."

He grabs me and kisses me. Not just a peek on the lips a passionate kiss. I was speechless.

"Ok then bye Clare."

I watched him walk out of my room with some hickeys and the smell of my perfume on him.

**The next day**

Today was another day I will be alone. No Eli, No Adam, No mom, No dad, No nobody. I was thinking about me almost cutting yesterday. It makes me sick to my stomach it really does. I wanted Eli s baby I still didn t get over it. But it looked like Eli did. I take a walk to gather my thoughts up and I see Adam.

"Adam what are you doing out of school?"

"Umm I skipped Clare."

"What? You should head back to school before anybody notices"

"Clare don t be to tense. Let s hang out."

"Ok. But if you get in trouble I will feel horrible."

We take a walk down this street with almost nothing there. We sit down on this green bench that didn t really look sturdy but it was good enough.

"So Clare how are you and Eli."

"We are great."

"Are you beginning to get over losing the baby?"

"Yes Eli has."

"I was talking about _**you**_."

"Uh yea I guess." I lie

"Well Clare Eli is right about one thing. You can t lie for anything."

"Shut up." I playfully slap his arm.

"It' s on now."

He begins to tickle me and I couldn t stop laughing.

"Adam stop it please."

"Take back that slap then."

"Fine Adam I am so sorry."

"Ok I will take that."

He stops tickling me and then we get up and start walking some more.

"CLARE WATCH OUT."

As I heard that I tripped over a cat and I fell brining Adam down with me. Adam was on top of me and it was as awkward as it could be.

"So Adam you can get up now."

I start to try and get up and Adam kisses me. But that isn t the worst part. I kissed him back. It sort of didn t feel wrong.

"Oh shit Adam what did we just do."

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**SO DID YOU GUYS LIKE IT I KNOW WHAT IS ELI GOING TO SAY OR MAYBE SHE WON'T TELL HIM? YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO FIND OUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER REVIEW PLEASE!**


	12. I will never tell

**you guys aren't going to like eli in this chapter but it will get better within the next 2 chapters!**

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Lost Within Love-Chapter 12

Adam and I hurry off the floor.

"Clare I am sorry it was just I was caught up in the moment."

"Don t worry I was too."

There was an awkward silence for a minutes or too and so I finally spit out the words.

"So I say we don t tell Eli this ever happened."

Adam walked me back to my place. Eli s car pulled up right as we approached my house. Great Eli this can t get any more disturbingly awkward. We exchanged hellos and Adam walked off.

"Hey Eli what are you doing here so early?"

"It s my lunch period thought I should see my girlfriend that I missed oh so much."

"Yea uh come in?"

"Sure I was waiting for you to ask. He said with his smirk."

We walk inside and we go up into my room. I found I movie that might interest Eli. Of course it was something bloody. We both sat on my bed and watched the movie. For some reason Adam s kiss was on my mind. I felt so guilty about it. I knew it would get to him somehow. I just wanted to be the one to tell him. Not someone else. I am so conflicted on what I should do. What Eli doesn t know won t hurt him. If I told him would he take it bad or will he let it go. I mean I don t like Adam like that so the kiss didn t mean anything. Maybe me and Adam should tell him together or would that just make it more awkward. I take a glance over at Eli._ He is so beautiful. His lips were beautiful. His nose was beautiful. His eyes were beautiful. His hair was beautiful. Everything was beautiful. How can I hurt someone who means so much to me? _I wouldn't be able to live with myself if Eli wasn t in my life. He was_** everything**_. He would cheer me up when I was sad. He would help with my family problems. He was so special to me. I care for Eli. I love him.** NO**. I am** IN** love with him. I couldn t keep this from him. The guilt was eating me away.

"Eli I have to tell you something."

"That doesn t sound like it is something good."

"No it isn't Eli me and A-."

I was interrupted by Eli s phone.

"Unknown." Eli said Puzzled

As he opens up his phone to see whatever someone texted him, his eyes open wide. He looks at me in disgust and looks down at his phone again. He closes his phone and doesn t say a word.

"Eli, you ok?"

"You tell me Clare."

He hand me his phone and what I saw was heart breaking. It was Me. Me and Adam kissing. Nobody was around us when it happened. How could someone have taken a picture and sent it to Eli.

"Eli I am so sorry I was just about to te-."

"Save it Clare. You are the biggest slut I have ever met."

I start to cry. Did** Eli** just call me a slut? Why would he do that? I grab his arm. He spins around and slaps me in to face.

"ELI WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SLAP ME."

"I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN YOU CHEATING WHORE."

He walks out of my bedroom door. I was just lying there crying holding the side of my face from the sting of his slap. He didn t seem like the Eli I knew before it happened. He had problems. He got too angry over nothing. He slapped me. I would never think Eli would be capable of doing something so. **Horrible**. I lock myself in the bathroom. I just wanted to die. I punch in my mirror."FUCK" I was bleeding. I didn t care about the pain it made me feel a little better. "FUCK YOU ELI" I took the razor blade and made a tiny cut on my wrist. I didn t think that was enough so I made another one. And the pattern went on. By the time I stopped sobbing I had many cut s on my arms. Oh no what was my mom going to say.**_ I am going crazy. What am I going to do? CLARE YOUR GOING INSANE._** I started to see blurry. Everything was fading. And then everything went black.

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**so what did you think? review please :)**


	13. Bianca

**don't be mad at me for writing this :) its a story as i said i promise it will get better...maybe...sort of :)**

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Lost Within Love-Chapter 13

Eli s POV

I can t believe she would do that to me. I just walked out. I could honestly care less of what she had to say. She wasn t digging herself out of this whole. She uses too many excuses. I am just going to go back to school and try and forgot about this incident. And forget about _Clare_. I walk into the school doors to be greeted by her.

"Did you get my text?" Bianca said in a bitchy tone of voice.

"So it was you, why would you do that."

"Hey I am not the one cheating on my boyfriend with the school freak."

"He isn t a freak."

"You mean **_she_**. Anyway see you later." Bianca said winking and walking away.

Did Bianca like me? Did she do this just to split us up? No nothing can Photoshop Clare and Adam kissing. I walk through the doors to Bianca.

"Hey Bianca you want to come to my house tonight?"

"As long as we can do something other than studying."

"Trust me you re going to like tonight." I give her a smirk.

She smiles and walks off. Maybe I shouldn t have invited her to my house. Did she know were my house was. She d figure it out. Clare wasn t going to like this. Wait "Fuck Clare" I said underneath my breath. She hurt me she deserves to hurt like I do. The school day is over what the hell am I going to do. Should I cancel the Bianca planes? No I just keep on mumbling under my breath "fuck Clare" . I get in my car and turn the radio up so loud I could have gone deaf. I walk into my house and nobody is home. Perfect. I called the unknown number and Bianca Picked up.

"You re still coming?"

"Yea where is your place at."

"529 Brookhaven"

She hung up.

**Later That Night**

I am waiting patiently and I hear my door bell ring. I get up and open the door and it was Clare. She looked like she just fainted her hands where stained with blood and she had a hospital bracelet on. Did all of this happen within the time I went back to school and came back? Did I do this to her I was starting to feel bad. No wait fuck Clare.

"Eli, can we talk." She said sniffling her nose.

"No thank you, I think you should leave I am waiting for someone."

Bianca walks up behind her.

"Hey Clare did you have a nice time kissing that freak."

Clare looks at me in disappointment.

"Really, Bianca." She questions me.

"Yes Bianca now Clare I think you should go."

"Yea saint Clare we think you should go."

I grab Bianca and bring her inside I slam the door in Clare s face and it felt damn good.

"So Eli where s the bedroom?"

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**yea i know bianca but still was it good? ahhh i cant wait for me to write chapter 14 **


	14. Remorse

**yea so chapter 12 and 13 were harsh but this one isn't so harsh enjoy!**

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Lost Within Love-Chapter 14

Clare s POV

I can t believe he just slammed the door in my face. He wasn't Eli anymore. His true color s came out. I think he saw my hospital bracelet. I didn t want him to know I cut myself to deep and almost bleed to death. He didn t deserve to know that. I was going to school tomorrow. I wanted to see what Eli was going to do with Bianca. Was he really going to have sex with her? He was a total ass hole. I guess I will just go home and see what life has in store for me next.

**The next day**

I walk up for school looking at the cuts I made on my arm. I can t believe I hurt myself because of Eli. It wasn t fair he got to see me hurt. But he seems fine. It seems like he doesn t even care that he hurt me. I get dressed brush my teeth comb my hair you know the usual. Looks like I am riding my bike today. It really hurt that Eli and I weren t talking right now. He is just being a big baby. It isn t like I have feelings for Adam. We just got caught up in the moment. He wasn t letting this go at all. I get to school to see a riot and it looked like Adam was in it. I see someone punch Adam in the face. When I finally got threw it was Eli.

"I thought we were friends Adam why were you kissing my girl."

"Man you know it didn't mean anything just stop it."

As Adam tries to get up Eli kicks him to the ground. I rip Eli off of Adam and try to help Adam.

"So Clare you came here to help Adam that s nice."

"This isn t right Eli; our kiss meant nothing you re making it into something."

"YOU GUYS TEACHER." Someone yelled out.

Everyone ran including me and Adam.

"Adam you ok."

"Yea just a noise bleed and a couple of bruised."

"I am so sorry Adam he is being a total jerk about the whole situation."

We both walk into school and we go our separate ways. Oh look who is walking my way. Bianca.

"Hey Clare so Emo boy isn t that bad in bed."

"You had sex with him?"

"Yea and it was good looks like he finally gave up on your chastity belt."

I guess he didn t tell her he took my virginity.

"You're lying Eli wouldn't do that to me."

"Actually it looks like he would. Because I know last night wasn t made up. It was so good I could have taped it." She says with a smirk.

I walk away. Would Eli do this to me? I have to confront him on this. I barge into his math class.

"Eli, can we talk."

He rolls his eyes. But then gives in and grabs his bag and walks outside.

"What do you want Edwards."

"I want to know if you had sex with Bianca."

"Uh ..no not at all." He says nervously

I could tell he was lying could he really be that stupid. Well looks like he can.

"Oh my gosh Eli you did have sex with her. What happened to_** I love you Clare**_?"

"It flew out the door when I saw you kiss Adam."

"And you had to slap me and sleep with Bianca to get back at me. This is low even for you Eli."

I start to walk away but he pulls me in and kisses me.

"Eli don t even start to act all apologetic."

"I am not, I know what I did was wrong and you can never forgive me, and all I am asking for is a second chance."

"I guess so, but if you screw this up we are done for good."

I said the words but I knew if he screwed up again I would take him back. I love him. He then lightly kisses me on my lips.

"Ok blue eyes I got to get back to math"

"Ok bye, I love you"

"Love you too Clare."

He kisses me and walks off. Ok well this was settled. I forgave Eli. I mean having sex with Bianca wasn t a big deal. It s not like they taped it or anything.

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**so did you guys take the hints? idk you tell me well did you like it tell me if you did or didnt i dont care if you leave harsh comments! just no dumb ones because those are...dumb just saying**


	15. Dreams

h Lost Within Love-Chapter 15

Should I have forgiven Eli so soon, was I really that desperate. I loved him and people who love each other get through the rough patches. No matter how rough they are. I just got home from school Eli didn t give me a ride it is like he was ignoring me. But why would he do that? I mean we got over the whole situation. What was he hiding now? **_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK_**

I wasn t expecting anyone, Oh Eli.

"Hey Clare can we talk"

"Yea sure, come in"

We just sat on the couch in silence, it was really awkward. I didn t know how to break the ice. He was obviously here to tell me something important I can see it in his face. I can t take these lies anymore, it s like a rollercoaster, you can t control the feeling you have but even though it scares you, you keep getting back on the ride.

"Clare you know how, I slept with Bianca"

"Yea"

"Well, she taped it and was going to send it to you."

"WHAT. THAT BITCH"

"Clare, I am so sorry I was against it from the beginning did she send it to you yet."

"No she didn t Eli how could you do this to me, you know what I have been through. Do you get some sort of a sick pleasure from hurting me? Or are you just some psychopath who likes to break girl s hearts"

"Clare wait let me explain everything I was-"

"DON T, I don t want to hear it anymore, I hate you."

I continually say I hate you to Eli while hitting him. He gets a grip of my wrists and puts them up against the couch over my head.

"Clare calm down."

"Fuck you Eli you have been hurting me long enough."

His grip gets tighter.

"Ouch Eli your hurting me let go."

He then twists my wrist almost to breaking point.

"Eli please you re hurting me."

He lets go and I cradle my wrist.

He then grabs my other wrist and brings me up stairs. He throws me on the bed and begins to take off my clothes.

"ELI STOP WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU PLEASE STOP IT I DON T WANT THIS."

He doesn t listen to me and keeps going. He is silent threw the whole process didn t say one word. I was screaming for someone to help me. Eli got me naked. I didn t know I could be this useless.

Clare listen to me, I just want to pleasure you that's it."

"NO, ELI STOP IT I DON T WANNA HAVE SEX."

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**There is going to be a part 2, sorry it was lacking i wrote it 9/14 on a busy day it was my birthday and homework and all that good stuff sorry it was lacking, sorry if your disappointed in the story it will get better review please :)**


	16. It is right this way

**So this is a very mature chapter there is a sex scene so be mature ok ok ok enjoy!**

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**Lost Within Love-Chapter 16**

"CLARE, WAKE UP WAKE UP"

"What happened?"

"I told you that Bianca taped the whole thing then you were hitting me and I tried to push you away but you hit your hear on the side of the couch."

"Oh my I had a horrible nightmare when I was passes out."

"What happened in the nightmare?"

"You..uh you-were about to rape me."

Eli was speechless at this point. I could tell he really loved me.

"Clare I hope you know I would never hurt you like that. You know that don t you?"

"Yea of course I know that I can t control what I dream about."

Eli brings me in and kisses me.

"Well Eli you know, I have the house to myself you wanna?"

"You re sure?"

"Yes."

I take Eli s hand and bring him upstairs. He throws me on my bed and jumps on top of me and kisses me. This kiss could make my heart melt in less than a second. He began to unbutton my blouse. While he was doing that I was taking off his pants. Soon enough we were both completely naked and he was on top of me. It looks like he can t help himself anymore. He thrust into me. And boy it was better than the 1st and 2nd time. He was biting my neck while he was thrusting in and out of me. Harder and harder. Faster and faster. He was pumping so hard I couldn t breathe "ELI DON T STOP." He didn t have a condom on and frankly. I didn t care at all. I feel an orgasm coming on." ELI RIGHT THERE DON T STOP UGGHHHH" I arch my back in pleasure and then he comes. After wards he then starts to kiss my belly. He was getting down to my vagina. He started to suck on my clit boy did it feel good. I grabbed ahold of Eli s hair and he moaned. His tongue invaded my vagina. I moaned louder every time his tongue moved faster inside me. He stuck 2 fingers inside me and started to move them back and forth. But this time he did it really fast. He hit a certain stop inside me. It wasn t the same as the other spot. I felt liquid cramming up inside me. Eli stop. He takes his finger out of me and liquid sprays everywhere. Oh my gosh did it feel good. I pull Eli down for a kiss. And I turn him around. I grab his cock and I start to suck on it. "CLARE YESS" His hand pull my hair to help me go up and down on his cock with my mouth. After a few minutes he pulls my head back and he comes on my boobs.

"Eli you re amazing I love you."

"I love you too Clare."

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**SO DID YOU LIKE IT? tell me what you though review it that is what keeps me going reviews and sorry about the ending i know it was a little...fluffy and stuff but it gets better in time there will be better endings...see you guys soon and thank you for reading my story it means a lot i am a writer but i never really thought i was a good writer but you guys make me think it so DONT LIE to me remember good and bad reviews i take them all..and no stupid comments...there just stupid :) ok good bye guys and thank you for everything . :) **


	17. The dot

**REPLY: EpicBGoldswrthy i know she wouldnt go for it...and everything will come into place in chapter 18. wait for a series to end to judge it..and it is a fanfiction i can do what i want to a character now i dont want clare to be her boring self i have to bring her to life. wouldn't you?**

**ANY WAY ENJOY THE STORY!**

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Lost Within Love-Chapter 17

After what went down in the bedroom, we went out to the dot. He wanted to talk to me.

"Clare I love you, you know that right."

"Yea of course I do."

"Then you ll understand when I say i-"

"What Eli."

"Never mind"

I knew he has something on his mind. He wasn t telling me. I hate him being so mysterious. But that is one of the reasons I am in love with him. We order our food and eat it in utter silence. It was killing me. I needed to know what was on Eli s mind. Was it about me? Maybe I should give him some time. He will tell me when he is ready. Or maybe I can find out from Adam. _No No No Clare it isn t your business._

"Eli could you drive me home it is getting kind of late."

"Sure thing"

He drives me home. All we hear is the radio. His face told a story of 1,000 lies. I know what he meant by not liking lies. Because right now, I am not too fond of them either.

"Uh bye Clare"

"Bye Eli"

He drives away. Not even a goodbye kiss. Something is up and I am finding it out.

**The Next Day**

"Clare honey breakfast is ready."

"Ok Mom I will be down in a second."

Thank god the weekend is here. I take a shower brush my teeth the daily routine and I decide to go downstairs. I wanted to talk to my mom if she had the time.

"Mom can we talk"

"Sure sweetie what is it"

"It s about Eli, I feel he is hiding something from me but I don t know what it is. What should I do should I confront him about it or give him time and he will tell me when he is ready."

"Well honey it is his business, but if it is worrying you so much why don t you just ask him I am sure he won t mind telling you."

"But last night at the dot he was going to tell me and he hesitated. At least I think that s what he was going to tell me."

"Well call him up and see."

"Mom I don t kno-"

"Sorry sweetie I have to go to work. See you later and tell me how it goes with Eli."

"Bye mom."

Maybe I am overthinking this, it can t be that bad. I call up Eli and ask him to talk.

"At the dot Eli"

"Ok I will see you there."

I decide to walk, if anything Eli would drop me off.

I see Eli sitting there. With a worried face on. Why was he the one worried?

"Hey Eli"

"Clare"

"Ok Eli let s cut to the chase, what are you hiding from me, you can tell me I won t judge you."

"I know you won t but listen I think, we should take a break."

My heart broke into a million pieces at that very moment.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No Clare it s not you, it s me."

"Wow Eli your messed, having sex with Bianca, hitting me, then having sex with me, now you re leaving what is your problem you re a psycho."

"No Clare don t leave let me explain."

I run as fast as I can, He was just like a pill instead of making me better he just keep making me sick. I couldn t see the dot anymore my house wasn t far ahead but then I heard a loud crash, it was about to rain. I start to run again but it starts to pour I am drenched so I just decided to walk. I was still getting wet either way. I see headlights of a vintage hearse. Oh great my night and shining armor.

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**So what did you think? so chapter 18 will explain everything so as i said before you can tell me anything just no stupid stuff...**


	18. Bipolar

**I really liked this chapter for some odd reason, enjoy! REPLY: Oh yea and thank you _Katie_ looks like you have been reading :) i appreciate it!**

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Lost Within Love-Chapter 18

"Clare get in the car you are soaked"

"No Eli I never want to see you again."

"Let me explain, get in the car and we will talk."

I decide talking wouldn t be so bad. You know for closure. He drives to his house and I am tempted to go in with him but I am not sure if I should trust him anymore. With everything he has done I can t believe I forgave him.

"Clare come inside I won t hurt you anymore I just want to talk."

I take it into consideration for a few seconds and then I walked with him inside his house. We sat down on his couch and he explained everything.

"Clare i... I am bipolar and I just don t want to take you down this road. Last year before I changed schools I had a girlfriend, named Juliet. And my bipolar disease killed her. It was my fault. One day we got into an argument over something I over exaggerated and I said some awful things and she took off in the night on her bike and got hit by a car. I hear it in his voice, he was about to cry. I took his hand and just cradled it and I brought him in for a hug but he went for a kiss. So I gave him it."

"Eli I am so sorry I had no idea."

"Why should I get to be happy?"

"Eli we can get through this, break is coming soon we can talk about everything, make you feel okay" I smiled

"You know what else is coming; the anniversary for her death and it is tearing me apart. I don t know what to do with myself."

"Eli stop blaming yourself for killing her, it wasn t your fault."

Eli and I looked into each other s eyes for a brief moment and started to kiss. The kiss was so passionate and loving. We took the kiss deeper. Before we knew it we were making out for 2 minutes. He looked into my eyes one last time.

"Clare I love you so much, I don t think I could live without you."

"I feel the same way."

"Wait I have something for you I was afraid to give it to you but I feel like it is the right time."

He walked upstairs into his bedroom and a few minutes later he came down with a little red box.

"Eli what is this."

"See for yourself."

I opened the box to find a ring; I took it out and saw something that read, **_Eli and Clare always and forever_**. It was under the ring. The ring was beautiful; it had 2 diamonds on each end of the big blue diamond in the middle. I couldn t believe Eli had done this. I was truly, madly, and deeply in love Eli.

"Eli I love you."

"I love you too Clare."

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**So what did you think? was it good was the ending cheesy tell me what you thought good and bad comments just no stupid ones as i said before!, and this isn't the end of the story i know it sounds like it but it isn't! i hope you liked it more coming soon! **


	19. Inappropriate

**(A:N) Hey guys sorry for keeping you waiting for like months. FINALLY HERE IS CHAPTER 19. my computer broke and i was on my ipod,it sucks i feel like i lost a lot of my readers so if you guys can review it, thanks :) well i wont keep you from the story any longer. Enjoy.**

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Lost Within Love-chapter 19

Eli and I have been good for a while, but that is until Sadie came along. She is a new student attending degrassi. I am befriending her, but she always hits on MY boyfriend. Speak of the devil.

"Clare do you have the English homework?"

"No Sadie I don't"

"Fine than"

I hear Sadie mumble something under her breath. As she walks away Eli is walking down the hall of course she has to do her famous hair flip . That little bitch.

"Hey blue eyes did you catch the English homework?"

"Yes... yes I did" I said with a cocky smile on my face.  
"Clare why do you hate Sadie so much"

"Hate is a strong word Eli, I am just not to found of her"

"Can you elaborate please?"

"She wants you Eli; how can you not tell"

"I guess I don't notice because I am always too busy thinking about my sweet baby Clare" he says with a smirk.  
"Flattery will get you nowhere Eli"

"I am pretty sure it got me in your pants."

"ELLLIII THAT IS SO INNAPROPRIATE." He starts to chuckle.  
"Not cool Eli"

"Hey I am just kidding I love you Clare-bear" He leans in for a kiss and we hear

"Suspended for PDA" Adam screamed out.

"Hey guys I hate to be a total cock block but can you keep that shit to a minimum please"

"Will do Adam" Eli says with a giggle.

"Yea Adam it won;t happen again" I say sarcastically

**LATER**

It is the end of the day and I am waiting for Eli at his car. When I feel too hands come around my waist. I turn around and I see no other then my beautiful, sweet, caring boyfriend.

"Hey babe, I have been waiting to do this all day" He kissed me so hard and so passionately I melted. It felt like the day is the library.

"Are you coming back to my place?" he says with a smirk "

do you want me too?" I say in a flirty tone. He picks me up off my feet and puts me in the front seat of his car. I love this boy so fucking much. We drive back to his place and he leads me to his room.

Boy today is going to be a long day.

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**I know it was mad short but i didnt notice that when i wrote my stories on paper it would be so short, i will try and make a longer story when i can i am going to try and update every tuesday, my twitter is /munrocfans follow :) and review this story please**


	20. Sadie

**(A.N) hey guys i have a early update for you, i will be posting every Tuesday but since i was gone for so long i want to write more. i hope you like it. juicy stuff is about to happen i might bring fitz in as a good guy. what do you guys think. good guy or bad guy? well here is chapter 20.**

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Lost Within Love-chapter 20

**Clare-POV**

Eli and I, our weekend was crazy I feel like he is hiding something from me. We went to my friend Adam s party on Saturday and when we came back I felt like he was hiding something. I can t stop myself from thinking something went down between Eli and Sadie. She was at the party I saw him talking to her. I never thought of myself as the jealous type, but there is a first for everything right. I don t want to push Eli into telling me what is wrong I want him to trust me enough to come to me and talk about it. He cheated on me once. I try to get my mother s voice out of my head. Once a cheater, always a cheater that is what my mother always used to tell me. I never listened I actually thought that people could change. I don t know if Eli has. As I said, Eli has been on edge all freakin weekend. I want to know what the hell is up.

Eli-POV

I cheated on Clare again. I don t know why I did it I just did. I didn t mean to. Oh wait I did. I don t know if I can tell her. I have to keep Sadie shut. Clare and Sadie aren t the best of friends. I don t even know why I went there with her. It wasn t sex but it was real close to it. Let s just say Sadie kept all of her clothes on.

**LATER**

"SADIE HEY SADIE WAIT UP" I call for Sadie I want this bitch to keep her mouth shut.

"Hey Eli I had fun this weekend"

"I am sure you did, don t tell Clare ok."

"Fine my lips are sealed." She walks down the hallway flipping her hair. Clare was right she was annoying as fuck. Now let s see if Sadie keeps her mouth shut.

**Clare-POV**

I walk into English and I see Eli waiting for me. He seems a little more open I wonder if he is ok. Then I see Sadie smiling in the corner of the room. What is she smiling about?

"Hey Clare"

"Hi Eli, are you ok?"

"Just fine actually sorry I was a little distant this weekend I had to deal with something."

"Hey Clare." I see Sadie walking over. Eli tenses up.

"Hey Sadie" I give her a fake smile.

"I just wanted to say hi see how you were doing."

"Uh I am fine thanks for asking" she walks away, that was a little freaky.

"What was that for Clare."

"I have no clue I wonder what he problem is."

**LATER**

I was walking out of math to go to my last period class which is physics.

"Hey watch were you re going bitch."

"I am so... Sadie don t call me a bitch."

"Looks like I just did."

"Shut the fuck up you cunt."

"I would shut my mouth, but the taste of your boyfriends cum is just so sweet."

With that she walks away with a smirk. I just want to leave I am about to cry, funny how it is always Eli who makes me cry. I knew something was up.

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**Bet you guys didn't expect that...or did you? well tell me what you think about it, tell me your thoughts on what to do with the story, if you have ideas bring them on  
:) i take them into consideration and incorporate them in the story. Review please! **


	21. Flash Backs

**(A:N) Hey guys this is a early update. i made this 2,007 words all my other chapter are way way way way shorter than this i cant believe i did it :) but i really hope you enjoy it and fitz is back so just wanted to give you guys a heads up. i think this chapter will keep you hanging till monday. well hope you enjoy the story.**

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**ELI POV**

Clare has been ignoring me all day. I tried to talk to her during English but she just answered with one word answers. Maybe it is her family again. I try and not think about the worst, which is Sadie telling her what happened. I shouldn't get blamed I am a guy. No what am I saying I sound like such a jerk. I don't want my bipolar disease to act up anymore. It killed Julia I try not to think it can happen again. I love Clare with all my heart, but I can't keep a girl around me or anyone for that matter. I just hope she will talk to me sooner or later.

**CLARE POV**

I have been avoiding Eli. I don't want to be around him. Not after what he did. He always has a way of making me cry or breaking my heart. I wish I was still pregnant maybe it would have brought us closer together. I have a certain hatred for K.C that could cause me to kill him. I never thought someone could have this hatred towards someone else. I think it is a sin what I think of doing to him every night. Brutally murdering K.C. Saint Clare isn't such a saint anymore.

**LATER**

I was walking to the store when I saw fitz. The guy who almost stabbed my "boyfriend" I don't think it is a smart idea to talk to him but what the hell right. What harm can it do? I see him signal for me to come over and talk.

"Hey Clare."

"Hi Fitz, what do you want." I say in a hostile tone.

"I just want to make things right, not between me and Eli, but between me and you. I wasn't lying when I said I liked you. I care for you a lot. I know you're with Eli and I respect that I just thought maybe we can be friends. I understand if you say no. I don't think I would give any sympathy to someone who almost killed my boyfriend…I mean in the most none homo way possible."

I am thinking for a while. Should I really forgive my boyfriend's enemy? Should I really be friends with him? Eli didn't think about that when he was letting Sadie give him a blow job. Well in that case I guess I will be friends with Fitz.

"Fitz i always believe in second chances i believe you've change but i really have to go i have some stuff i am dealing with right now between me and Eli"

"Clare you can tell me what is wrong"

"Well i don't know it is kind of personal and stuff i wouldn't wont to burden you."

"Its ok i think we need to gain trust in our friendship dont you think?"

"Can we go to my place,but you have to promise not to try anything on me because i will throw you out as fast as i invited you in."

We walk to my place and i kind of feel like i can trust him. That he has honestly changed but i cant get my hopes up. Everyone lets me down. we arrive at my house and i open that door. i don't feel comfortable letting him in my room so i will just let him stay in my living room. i really want to talk to Eli but i can't. he betrayed me in a way i have never betrayed him. wasn't it enough that i gave him my . Or maybe that i just had sex with him the night before. No of course he doesn't care. he wants more.

"Do you want anything a drink food?"

"no thank you. now you ready to tell me what is wrong"

"yea, well me and Eli went to this part..."

I finished telling him the story and he had a face of disgust. he tried to comfort me with sweet words but i didn't care. it didn't stop the tears from falling. its sad how the only person i feel that i can trust is Fitz. Even though i just met up with him a hour ago. He held me in his arms like Eli would. i just cried and cried and cried. Eli always gets to me.

"I am so sorry Clare i didn't even know Eli was that much of a dick."

"Yea well he could be, thanks for being here for me, i underestimated you."

"Its ok a lot of people do so i will talk to you tomorrow here is my number."

He gives me his number and then i am walking him out the door. I cant believe i feel this close to Fitz already. He wasn't as bad as everyone thinks. There is a really sweet guy under all of that jerk. i think the jerk side of him is gone. People can change after all. My faith isn't broken.

"Hey if you ever need to talk just call me i will be here for you ok?"

"thank you so much Fitz, i really trust you. Thank you for everything. Bye."

"Bye clare."

i see him walk away. i run up to my room and get clothes ready for a my shower. As i step into the shower i start to think about everything. All the good times me and him had. Me losing my virginity to him.

_"Eli..i think I am in love with you" I say with a serious look on my face_

_"Blue eyes I KNOW I am in love with you"_

_He started to pull up my shirt and surprisingly I didn t stop him. He started kissing my belly and then he went up to my mouth and started to kiss me. His tongue outlined the bottom of my lip and he wanted in. So I parted my lips for him. I didn t really know what to do. K.C never kissed me like this it was always little kisses. This give was something more. He took off my shirt and began to unhook my bra. There he was looking at my breasts. He began to suck on my right nipple and grope the other. Soon after I tugged on his shirt giving him a ok to take it off. He looked surprised. He took off his shirt and there I saw him shirtless. I started to blush but he keeps on going. He took off my jeans and my panties. "Eli no fair your wearing pants." I see that he has a certain bulge where his Penis is. Am I getting Eli hard? I blush a little. He starts to kiss my inner thigh. Right there I knew I wanted to lose my virginity to him. I love him and wanted him to have me. All of me. He brings his kissed up to my neck then he whispers in my ear. "Clare do you really want this?" "Eli I love you and I want you to have me it doesn t matter if we aren t married you love me and I love you that is all that matters." He continues his actions He starts to lick my clit and I couldn t help but to say his name "ELI OH YEA ." He begins to enter me with his tongue and let me tell you it feels amazing. He goes fast and faster. I take his hair and I almost pull it out. He moaned when I pulled his hair. I brought him up for a kiss. I turn so it changes our position so now I am on top of Eli. I pull down his boxer and he is harder than I thought. I mean his veins were popping out kind of hard. I began to grope his penis and he started to moan my name. I blush a little when he did. Without even a warning He flips me over so he is on top of me. "Clare, are you ready I can t wait for you any longer." "Yes Eli I am ready." "Clare, I am sorry if I hurt you just tell me when to stop." With that note he gets into position and I feel the tip of his penis start to enter me. The pain from that was unbearable but I held it in. He waited for my ok to start moving. He started to thrust back and forth slowly. Then his motions began to get a little faster. I started to feel a tear drop down. "Clare, You want me to stop I can t take hurting you." "No Eli keep going" He begins to thrust again but now the pain had subsided. Our breathing became more heavy and loud. I started to moan his name. "Eliii FASTERR" The tight thing in my abdomen came again. But this time it was much stronger I couldn t control myself. "CLAREEE" He screamed. I was about to freak out. The pressure sprung out of control and I couldn t contain it. "ELII OH YEA ELLI ." A few minutes later the same happened to Eli. He fell on top of me and rolled over._

Or even the time me and him decided to keep the baby.

_I drag Eli out of the house to his hearse. I didn t want to be in that house for one more second I just wanted to be with Eli and only Eli. He and the baby were my life now and I am ok with that._

_"Clare we can't"_

_I cut him off._

_"Listen Eli get in the car and let s drive somewhere I don t want to hear your shit I am having this baby and there is nothing anyone can do about it."_

_"If you really want to keep it then, Fine but we are getting our own place. And I pick the name" he says with a silly smile_

_"Fine Eli" I said with a smile_

Oh were did that Eli go. i miss the old him so much. What happened to him.I hated all of these girls he was sleeping with i mean why would he do this to the person he loved. Julia got out of it. i am hoping i am not another Julia. His stupid Disease killed her. No what are you talking about Clare this is the guy you love. we will get through this right? I step out of the shower and dry myself off. i put clothes on and looks outside. i look at the clock. "its already 12 pm" i say to myself. i shut off the light and go to sleep. As i was drifting into slumber i heard a loud bang. i didn't get up to see what it was. It was probably my mom or someone. So i go back to sleep. i hear footsteps leading up to my bedroom door. i am getting pretty freaked out now. i mean it can't be anyone that can hurt me my door is locked anyway.I turn on the light and grab something off my dresser so if it is anyone that is going to hurt me i can just strike them and rum. i get up to see who is standing in front of my bedroom door. i open the door to see him.

"Hey Clare"...

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**CLIFF HANGER...i am sorry i had to you guys understand right XD i didnt think you would either lmfao well i wonder who this could be? tell me who you think it is. I wonder if you guys know who this is any ideas? well until next time MANDUSHKI IS OUT! PEACE AND LOVE XOXOXO**


	22. Cheater

**(A:N) Hey guys so its 10:00 and i am updating technically it is tomorrow...Well not at all actually but i just couldn't wait for you guys to read this i had to post it early no need to thank me. :) well enjoy**

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"Hey Clare"

"SADIE WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY FUCKING HOUSE"

She grabs my hair and smashed my face into my computer desk. My nose started to bleed. I got up and punched her but that didn't keep her down for long. "HE IS MINE CLARE MINE" "no he isn't" I fall to the ground and she grabs my leg and drags me out of the room.I try and kick my way through everything but her grip was to drags me down the stairs. My face hit the steps repeatedly.

"Sadie please stop, your a crazy bitch."

She ties my hands up and throws me on my couch. Were are my parent's."Its just a matter of time Eli will come for me" " oh baby he is already here" when she said that i see him walk threw the door. " "Hey Clare, Sadie back away." she obliged. "Eli why aren't you helping me." He takes Sadie in his hands and kissed her." WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS." "Clare your old news, i like Sadie now,she is my one and only. I dont give two flying shits about you. When i said i loved you. i was lying. A guy will do anything to get into a girls pants. When you stop being so naive and realize that;you will understand life." " Eli i thought we were going to be together forever." " things change baby" he walks towards me cupping my face in his hands." Don't worry when i kill you i will make it fast." " But Eli why" " Is there really a reason Clare." He takes out a gun.

"Eli please don't do this i love you" he brings the gun to my head and teases me by making noised that sound like bullets being triggered. Then came the real one.

"NO ELI NO ELI NO ELI ELI STOP STOP IT STOP IT."

"CLARE WAKE UP WHATS WRONG." it was my mom.

"Oh mom,im sorry i had a nightmare."

"Did something happen between you and Eli?"

"No mom nothing happened"

i ran into the bathroom sobbing. I brushed my teeth when i looked in the mirror i looked a mess. i was in a cold sweat. that felt so real,but Eli would never do that to me. Would he? I pull out my cell phone and call someone,anyone.

"Fitz can we talk."

"sure do you want to come over."

"please?"

"ok well i will see you at my house my address is 45 crescent street."

I quickly get ready and head over to Fitz' house. He was the only one i could talk to. He was the only one i trusted. Funny how things work out. He talks sense into me. Fitz was my only way out of this hell i am in. He is like my own personal therapist. He was a good friend. I quickly rode my bike to his house and when i got there i saw Fitz waiting outside for me.

"Hey Clare come inside." he walks me inside and we go downstairs to his living room were we talk and i tell him everything that happened in the dream.

"Clare do you think Eli would actually do that to you"

"No,but i don't know anything right now."

"I think he is a good guy maybe you guys need to take a break, work things out. But first things first. You guys need to start talking. And don't try and get revenge on him because that never ends up right. its not like were one of those teen drama shows that everyone writes fan-fiction about."

"Yea your right, i should talk to him. Thanks for everything Fitz, your a good guy."

"Well i am happy i could help, and if you punch sadie i will love you forever, i hate that bitch."

"tell me about it dude"

He walks me out of his house and he drives me home putting my bike into the backseat of his nice orange car. Nothing like Eli's. But still as different as his. Fitz is being so sweet to me. I don't know where to love him or question him. But i will see where this road takes me. I will stick it out. I am always watching for someone to show there darker side. Everyone has one. Even the nicest of people.I walk out of his car and he opens the window to say something."

"I hope everything works out, i know you will make the right choice."

"thanks Fitz,and i hope i do."

After we say our goodbyes i go into my house and run upstairs. I contemplate whether i want to procrastinate and call Eli later or just get the whole thing over with right now.I grab my phone and look at his number trying to make a good and steady decision. Should i call or ignore him. This is so hard to do. But i know exactly what i am going to do.I call Eli and after the first ring he answers enthusiastically.

"Clare,are you ok. we haven't spoken in days."

"Eli i want to talk to the phone. It will hurt to much to do it in person."

"Oh no clare, i dont like the way this sound."

"Eli i know what went down between you and sadie."

"Listen clare i can explain."

"please you dont, you have an excuse for everything. what now the little demon inside you told you to do it." i mentally smirk inside."

"No clare i dont know why i did it."

"Exactly, so you agree we need to take a break i need some time to think about where this relationship is going to go right now i only see the SHIP in this because ships always sink, and ours is right about to hit and iceberg."

"nice way to put it clare"

"im not joking Eli we need some time apart." i say tearing up

"but clare i love you."

"you have a funny way of showing it." i hang up the phone before he can say anything else. I dont want to hear it. He made this bed now he has to lye in it.

I threw my phone on my computer desk and ran to my bed. I started to cry but who wouldn't. i just did the hardest thing i had to do ever in my life. And i KNOW it was the right decision. But nobody told me doing the right thing would hurt this bad. i just lay there remembering again. Like i did in the shower the other day. I loved his smart remarks.

_"What, no hello not even a good morning , Clare since when have you become so mean"_

_"Shut up and get me to school if I am late it s on your ass"_

_"OH MY CLARE since when has your language become so offensive?"_

_I smirk and he drives off._

_"so blue eyes what do you say we take off Eli says with one of his famous smirks"_

_"What you mean skip?" I say_

_"If you want to get official"_

_I take a minute and think about it I could get into a lot of trouble. But on the up side it would be alone time with Eli._

_"Ok but where would we go"_

_"it is a surprise"_

_As I wait to get to this so called surprise Eli has got planned Eli puts on a song and it is the song that was playing the first time we met. When he complimented me on my eyes. The first day I thought that 10 grade wasn t going to be so bad._

_We arrive to this place that is to beautiful There is a water fall and there is this big oak tree with leaves that were so beautiful and then there was a cabin._

_"What is this place" I ask in disbelief_

_"It is my runaway place. When I runaway to get my thoughts together this is where I come_

He was Amazing. Emphasis on WAS.

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**BAMMMMMMM you didn't think i would actually kill clare would you? well fitz is being awfully sweet i didn't end it off with a cliff hanger i didn't want to torture you TOO much, if you read my story you should be reviewing it! i want to know what you guys think,then i lose my drive to write so you guys have to review! :) see you guys XOXOXO PEACE AND LOVE MANDUSHKI 3 **


	23. Broken up

**(A:N) HIYAAAA im back :) i hope you guys are ready for this chapter, some of you guys might not like it, but as you can tell there will be loads of drama to come. So keep reading if you like it and i happen to like this chapter. I dont know why...i just do :) well enjoy oh and for that annon person i just named her juliet i didn't want to use julia cause thats my sisters name and its creepy :)**

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**ELI POV**

I can't believe Clare left me. Because of some stupid thing i did with Sadie. And of course i actually trusted Sadie. I swear to god i don't know what to do with myself. I remember when i lost Juliet. I remember it like it was yesterday.

_"Eli why can't you ever listen to me."_

_"Juliet just leave me alone."_

_"I am sorry i accidentally made a dent on your car i swear sometimes i think you love that thing more than you love me."_

_"Thats because i do,juliet you always ruin everything. Your a fucking cunt just leave juliet."_

_"But Eli-"_

_"JUST LEAVE YOU STUPID WHORE."_

_She ran out of my room crying i hear her slam the front door closed. i could care less what happened to out of nowhere i hear a car skid and then a big bang. I run outside to see what happened. Then i saw it. Her body. Lying there lifeless and cold. Everybody was freaking out. Soon the ambulance was called she wasn't dead yet. But soon she would be. And it was going to be all my fault. I had to overreact and call her those horrible names. I am the one that made her cry. That made her so made she took off in the middle of the night on her bike not looking both ways. It was me.I killed her. I killed the girl i supposed kind of person am i. I am horrible.I will never love again._

I thought i would never love again. Until i saw her. My Clare. Every single person i love. I push them kind of person am i. I am horrible. Then all the memories of Juliet came flying back into my head. I don't think i will ever get over Juliet. But i won't let Clare slip through my fingers. I won't let another love get away. I will fight for her. I love her with all my heart. I wont let her leave me. I won't let her be Alone. I ran out of my room and to my car. I was driving to Clare's place. Thank god both her parents are at work. Soon enough i arrive at Clare's house and i knock. She opens the door. Shocked.

"E-E-Eli what are you doing here"

"We need to talk"

"Clare who is that at the door?"

"Clare who is that?"

"Uh its uh Fitz." She says nervously

I give her my death stare and i see Fitz coming up to the is shocked as well. I guess this is what i get. I pushed her away so bad that she went running to Fitz.

"I can't believe you Fitz. Getting back at me by using Clare, That is real low."

"Eli he isn't using me. He is helping me...get over you."

"So what..are you too dating now?"

"No he is just my friend. He has been there for me. He hasn't hurt me."

"Yet."

"Eli he hasn't hurt me...like you did."

"Clare i don't get it, Whose side are you on?"

"I'm not sure,but i know its not the one who cheats."

With that she shuts the door in my face. I am so mad. I don't know what i will do. I feel like getting a gun and shooting Fitz. I just hate his guts. For him to take,MY Clare. I wasn't going to let that happen. I will get Clare back one way or another. Even if i have to hurt her.

**CLARE POV**

I can't believe Eli showed up at my door. Probably trying to apologize. He thinks he can just waltz back into my life. Well i have got news for him. Its gonna be harder than that. I am not forgiving him that easy. I love him,but enough is ENOUGH. He has hurt me too many times. And he has to nerve to pick on Fitz. Fitz is the only one helping me right now. Fitz deserves a trophy for all i am putting him through. He is a good friend.

"Why was Eli here?"

"He probably wanted to say sorry. You know what he always does after he fucks up."

"Listen Clare, he isn't sorry he cheated. He is sorry he got caught."

"Yea you can say that again."

"Well you have me, so you always can talk to me. I will be there for you."

"Thanks Fitz that means a lot."

"Well you wanna study."

"Yea sure there is nothing else we can do."

After a few hours of studying we got bored of it and we played some card games,board games,computer games,etc. I bet him in everything. Who knew big bad Fitz was a sore loser.

"OH COME ON CLARE YOU CHEATED."

"No i didn't i am just good at this game."

"I think its time to put it away or i might throw a fit."

"yea i say the same."

I put the board game away and we sat on my bed. I finally felt comfortable enough to let him in my room. I feel like i can trust him. I haven't seen Adam or Fiona in days. There probably enjoying each others company. Like me and Fitz are. But not in the same way. We lay down on my bed and put on a movie. He hates twilight but i made him watch it.

"So Clare why do you like this movie so much."

"I don't know its so interesting."

"Dude,the guy sparkles who thinks thats not gay?"

"I think thats beautiful."

"Well i think your beautiful."

He says that and i blush. Was i really doing this with Fitz. It felt wrong,but at the same time it felt so right. He leaned in for a kiss and i leaned it too. Soon our lips touch. His lips were so soft. His kissed were different then Eli's. Oh Eli. We aren't even together. I shouldn't feel guilty for doing this. Its what i want. His hand travels to my waist and then down my thigh where he starts to massage it. He pushes me down playfully and sits in between my legs. He starts to kiss my neck and i get butterflies.I stop him before this could get any more serious.

"Fitz we need to stop."

"Its ok, i get it your still in love with Eli."

"Well me and Eli aren't together."

With that i give him one last peck on the lips and we continue watching the movie. Who knew Fitz was a good kisser. He was really comforting. And i knew Eli wouldn't like this if he ever found out. But he wasn't thinking about me when he gave that bitch a blow job. So why should i think about that PRICK. i shouldn't. And i won't.

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**Well,did you see that coming? i don't know if you did. Tell me what you though. If you don't review i don't write :) so if your reading this you should click the review button below. please and thank you. Mandushki out! PEACE AND LOVE XOXOXOXO**


	24. Abusive

**(A:N) HAI HAI HAI. I am here again :) well this was a hard chapter to right. Please,please don't hate me when you read this. It is MY fan-fiction. You guys might hate Eli. But uhh look on the bright side...wait...there is no bright side o.o well enjoy (i hope)**

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**CLARE-POV**

I haven't talked to Eli in a while. He looked really pissed when he saw i was with Fitz. I walked threw the door of degrassi. It was Monday.I fucking hate Mondays.I go in a walk to my Locker hoping not to bump into him. But to my misfortune he was standing right there. In front of my locker. I tried to Run the other way but he called after me. FUCK. God damn is he such a stalker.I thought he got the memo when we broke just never learns does he. I ran out of degrassi. Running as far as possible just to get away from him. But he is faster than me. He caught up to me and by the time that happened i had no clue were i was.

"Clare will you please talk to me."

"No"

"Well to is going on with you and Fitz,how could you betray me like that."

"Yea,your the one to talk. You let SADIE give you a blow job."

"Well that is different."

"Oh really Eli how is that different."

"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW YOU ASK TOO MANY QUESTIONS."

"your the one who wanted to talk to me."

"Listen,Clare i love you,there is nobody Else i want to be with but you"

"BULL SHIT,i have heard this all before. i will not let you be back into my life that easily anymore. Fuck you,Fuck your bipolar disease,Fuck Juliet,and FUCK Sadie...if you haven't already."

"What did you just say to me." I saw Eli's face become red, I knew i hit a spot when i said fuck Juliet.

"You heard me FUCK JULIET,She probably hates you. you did kill her,you piece of shit."

"Don't you dare talk about her like that again."

"Fuck Juliet." I say just to get him mad. I didn't want it to come this far but it had to.

He walks away from me frustrated. But mid way walking away from me he turns around and says "Your gonna pay Clare." He runs up to me and punches me in the stomach and riped me by my hair and throws me to the ground."WHAT THE FUCK ELI." He ignores me and ripes me by my leg.I would never think he would do this in daylight. But he did it. He drags me about a block and a half and ripes me up to his height. He then drags me by my hands to his house. It was a long walk but i didn't want to cause a seen. I admit i shouldn't have said those things. I should have known he would get like this. His temper could be so throws me into his house and pulls my hair back to wear my ear is right near his speaks in a cold tone "You brought this upon yourself." He pushes me on the couch and begins beating me.I throw in a punch and it knocks him out.I run to the bathroom and lock myself in it. I quickly call someone.

"FITZ PLEASE HELP ME ITS ELI HE IS GOING CRAZY."

"Clare,where are you tell me so i can come find you."

"CLARE OPEN UP THIS GODDAMN DOOR RIGHT NOW OR I WILL BUST IT OPEN."

"Please Fitz hurry."

I hang up the phone and i try to climb out the window of the bathroom,soon i hear the bathroom door swing open and i am being pulled from the window.

"Please Eli i am sorry for what i said."

"Your sorry's don't matter,your going to pay."

He takes my head and bashes it against the sink.I couldn't believe it was HIM doing this. I was hoping i would here someone waking me this wasn't a dream. This was real life. I would never forgive Eli again. I don't even want to be with Fitz. I don't want to be with anybody anymore i don't trust anyone. This sweet guy i used to know is now a monster. He continually beats me until i pass out.

**ELI-POV**

I can't believe i got this mad. The bitch deserved it. Talking about my Juliet like that.I beat her until she passed out. I laid her down on my bed and i just looked at her bloody body. I had to clean her up. I took her clothes off and saw all the bruises.I cleaned all the blood off of her and put cream on the bruises. I put her clothes back on and sat patiently for her to wake called he was going to help is one crazy girl. I should have taken my pills this morning. Maybe i wouldn't have overreacted like this. I am starting to regret doing this. What if she ends up like Juliet.I would never want her to end up like that.I truly loved her.I look at her body once more and lay next to her. I am petting her head.I pushed a strand of hair out of her face and just looked at how beautiful she is and how bruised she was now.I did this too her. The person she "loved" My hand travels down to her stomach.I lift up her shirt and massage her stomach. I dip my head down and start to kiss her stomach. If only she knew.I lifted up her shirt a little more and unhooked her bra. I looked at her breasts and then started to massage them. I took my thumb and my pointer finger and pulled at her left nipple while sucking the right i switch over. am i doing she is uncontentious.I put her bra back on and pull down her shirt.

"Wh-wh-where am i"

"Clare your at my house in my bed."

"Wait-wait-what?"

"You in my room,please don't freak out."

"W-w-who are you." She gives me a confused time,i fucked up big time.

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**So,what did you guys think *cringes* OH another thing,someone pointed out that "juliet's" name is julia...I changed the name because my sister's name is julia and that would be creepy...well please review and don't give me that "HE IS SOOO OOC" or "ELI WOULD NEVER DO THAT" cause face it...i am writing this...fan-fiction...my...fan-fiction...not to sound tell me if you liked it,its ok if you didn't just don't tell me any of the things i just stated above :) but goodbye for now XD**


	25. Fitz

**(A:N) Hey, ok i have to make this fast because my mom wants to get on, well this isn't as dark as the last you enjoy it.!**

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**ELI-POV**

"W-who are you" Clare said confused.

"Clare,you don't remember me at all"

"No,am i suppose to?"

"YES I AM YOUR..." i think for a moment. She doesn't remember anything that just happened. Or all of our remembers,absolutely nothing.I could use this to my full advantage and we could be together again. I can make Fitz the bad life was in my hands now. And i love it.

"I am your boyfriend Clare."

"W-what happened, why am i here,why do i have no memory."

"I-i-i brought you here,a few,uh hours ago,this boy Fitz,he,uh tried to hurt you. He beat you pretty badly and your hurt.I found you and he ran.I brought you here i didn't want to leave your side because i love you."

"Thats sweet and all,but i don't know you, just take me to the hospital."

"Ok,But can you just tell me one thing? What DO you remember."

"To be honest i don't remember anything,other than my name being Clare because you just said my name."

I look into her beautiful ocean blue eyes and smirk. Me and her can start over,without all the drama getting in the way. I WILL get Fitz arrested because he "beat" her. Oh how this was going my way. I take her and bring her out to my car. She gets a little freaked out because of what i am driving,but it never bothered her before...oh right she had her memory then. I smirk inside.I drive her to the hospital and we see a lady at the front desk,we ask to see a doctor because we have a case of a concussion. And that he memory is totally fried.I wrote her name on the paper and we went to sit down. We sit in the waiting room for a good 30 minutes. Clare looks so was going to be fun.I will manipulate EVERYTHING."Clare Edwards". The nurse called out. Clare didn't stand but she got the hint that her last name was Edwards when i stood up. The doctor checked her out and said "Well i hate to break it to you but it is a slight chance Clare will get her memory was hit pretty hard in the head. Who did you say did this again?" "Mark Fitzgerald." "Do you know were he is? I suggest you call the cops immediately before he leaves town" "Will do sir,Can me and Clare leave now?" "Yes, wait patiently for her memory,it isn't likely she will get it back,but there is a chance,see if you remind her of things with memories." I smile at the doctor and leave the room.

"Hey you."

"Uh,yea Clare."

"I never got your name."

"Its Eli."

"Elijah Goldsworthy."

"Yes,how did you remember?"

"I don't know."

"Well looks like your memory is getting a little better."

I panic hoping she doesn't suddenly remember me beating her senseless to put it lightly. I drive home and she asked all these questions so i supplied her with MY OWN answers.

"Eli,why did Fitz do that to me."

"Me and him are enemies,and he decided to get back at me He went for the thing i loved the ."

"why was he your enemy."

"It is a long story,he broke my my nards. Tried to stab me. Ya know,the usual." i say with a smirk,she starts to giggle. Thats my beautiful Clare.

"Well it seems like you love me,but it is unfair to you that i don't remember loving we?"

"Yes,yes we did. You had a had a purity ring. You decided that you were so in love with me that you'd give me your virginity." I felt so cocky when i said that.

"Oh."

"Thats it,oh?"

"Well what else can i say, i don't remember anything."

"Say you remember loving me."

"I am so sorry, i don't remember."

I grab the back of her head and crashed my lips to hers. She seems a little unsure but i ease her into it. I continue to kiss her and then i pull away,We look into each others eyes.

"Eli,i love you."

"You remember?"

"Yea,i remember what i feel for you,i don't remember everything. i, uh, do we know anyone named Adam or Alli?

"Yes there your bestfriends."

Oh no,she could remember what i did to her. That i am the bad guy not Fitz.I have to do something,But there is nothing to do,but wait until she figures this out. Until she figures ME out.

"Do you remember anything else?"

"No nothing else." After she says that i take a breath of air and i breathe out. She doesn't remember anything.

"One more question."

"Shoot"

"Were are my parent's"

"Oh,they...know about you and ...uh.. you actually live with me." I make up a ridiculous lie because i want her to be with me always. I don't care about her parent's. I want her all to myself. With no interruptions.

"Oh,why,what happened did they throw me out?"

"Uh,no, you decided to move in with me because,well i don't know why,they fight a lot i guess."

"Oh yea,the're splitting up."

"Well on the bright side,you remembered." i say with a faint smirk playing upon my looks up and gives a sad smile remembers the pain of the divorce.

"Clare just remember i love you, i will let nothing happen to you. First thing tomorrow i will send that piece of shit that did this to you in jail."

"Please?"

"Of course."

I hold onto her tight. I feel a guilty. She doesn't know what really happen. The regret is creeping upon will never know.I will bury the truth 6 feet under.I will make SURE she doesn't find out. I will kill anything or anyone that tries to tell her. After all she IS MINE now.

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**So,what did you think? please review xD and tell me your guesses on what will happen next. Well goodbye and MERRY CHRISTMAS MANDUSHKI OUT PEACE AND LOVE XOXOXOXO**


	26. Wet dream

**(A:N) sorry this story was late,i will be updating my other two stories today so you get a triple story update today! yayayaya! so this story was really hard to right. I was so busy i had to throw this together really fast,but i hope you guys like it,enjoy!**

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**ELI-POV**

"hello 911 i would like to report a beating."

I tell the operator everything that happens,they put out a warrant for Fitz' arrest. Clare is still in my arms sleeping. I decided to not go to school,Clare just never woke up. I soon get up and hear

"Eliiiiii"

"Yea babe."

"Oh yea Eli,right there."

Looks like she is having a sex dream about me. She must remember something about our sex life.

"Eli,fuck me"

"Babe,wake up."

"Fuck off."

Wow she has a some language.I don't think she is even awake. Why not give her what she wants.I move on top of her and pull up her skirt. I rub her Clit threw her panties. "Oh yes,yes,ohhh" "You like that don't you,your a dirty girl aren't you." I dip my head down and start to lick her clit. She wiggles around and i then pull my hand over her waist to hold her down. I start to lick up and down her folds. "OH MY GOD ELI WHAT ARE YOU DOING." "I am giving you what you want,is something wrong?" "YES SOMETHING IS WRONG YOUR EATING ME WHILE IM SLEEPING." "Well you were fucking me in your dream so i figured why not,eh" She gives me a shocked look and i give her a smirk and then start to lick again. I take my hand away from her waist and get up and look her in the eyes,i begin to tease her by taking my finger and running it up and down her pussy hole."Please,stop teasing." I stuck my pointer finger inside her and she screamed. I drop my head and start sucking on her Clit,i added my ring finger and my middle finger,and began to pump my fingers in and out of her. "Oh,yea,please,im about to cum." "Yea your about to cum,cum for me babe." I start fingering her erratically. I hit a spot that made her scream.I feel her walls begin to slowly close in,so i know she is in the middle of a orgasm.I help her ride out her orgasm with my fingers and then i lay next to her. I make her suck off the liquids from her pussy that were on my finger. She sucks my fingers clean. She goes for my belt but i stop her."

"No,we need to stop." I felt a little guilty for taking advantage of her.

"No babe i want you now"she pounces on top of me and the shelf attached to the top on my bed fell on her head. A big book ended up clocking Clare in the face. I watch as she fall off from on top of me and face down on the carpet. "Clare you ok?" "Yea Eli..i...got MY MEMORY BACK." "FUCKKKKK" "Eli,whats wro-you...you beat me,why-why would you make up those ridiculous lies."

"Babe,its not what you think."

"Yea,its never any thing i think right."

"no clare,don't leave."

"Fuck you Eli. Go to Hell."

"NO CLARE." i pull her arm and smash my lips on hers. She pulls away and slaps me in the face.

"I guess i deserved that."

"You did deserve that,know i have to figure out how to get you in trouble and Fitz out of trouble,your a piece of shit you know that."

"Yea i know that,listen i am so sorry." She just leaves. At that moment my heart breaks into a million pieces.

**CLARE-POV**

He . i can never win with him. he is just so know. I went to the police station and told them everything that happened. They said they couldn't prove anything so they said there was nothing they could do about it. I ran over to Fitz to see what happened.

"Fitz' are you made?"

"At you know,at your pussy boyfriend yes."

"He isn't my boyfriend."

"Well last time i checked he was,you haven't called in almost 3 days what happened? then when he called me i wondered why you kissed me if you still liked him. Do you just lead guys on and break there hearts?"

"No let me explain."

"Come inside and explain yourself then."

I walked inside and sat Fitz down on his couch i sat next to him and explained looked shocked and disappointed at the same time.

"Clare,you have to get rid of him,you can't let him keep doing this to you. He thinks your just gonna take him back. You have to wait until he proves himself to you,to even THINK about being friends with him,or even acquaintances with the guy."

"You right,i can't keep on dealing with this shit. Its to hard,im breaking down and i can't take it anymore,Fitz please help me."

"I will stand by your side threw it all,don't worry."

"Fitz thank you so much." I pull him in for a hug. He held me in his arms until we hear,

**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK**

A knocking at the door soon separates us. Fitz went to open the door. I hear him talking with someone. They were arguing soon the door slammed shut and nobody came back in the room. I move away the blinds and i see Fitz beating Eli then thats when i see it. The unthinkable. I never thought someone i trusted would do this. I stand there in total shock. He takes out the gun,chucks it and shoots.

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**So what happens? next chapter is the last chapter...unless someone says they wan't more of this story? so review please or i have no clue what to do,tell me who you think has the gun? do you think someone will die? get hurt? i don't know. You will have to guess ;) so i will see you in 2 days i believe,i am out...MANDUSHKI 3 PEACE AND LOVE XOXOXO**


	27. Guns and Roses

**OH YEA,EARLY UPDATE WOOHOO. i will try and update my other 2 storied too,but if i don't get to finish then they will be up by tomorrow possibly late tonight so look out for those. I hope you enjoy this chapter...so while i was writing this i accidentally put on the top instead of clare-pov eli-pov i wonder how stupid that would have been if i didn't catch that mistake :)**

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**CLARE-POV**

"NOOOO"

I run outside to see Fitz with a gun,he shot Eli is the shoulder.

"FITZ WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT."

"I was defending your honor,you can't let this jerk get away with what he did to had to pay."

I run over to Eli who was bleeding uncontrollably

"Cl-clare,i am s-sorry it had to come to this."

"No Eli,Please im so sorry i love you. I don't want to lose you."

"I-its ok Clare i-i am going to b-be fine,j-just call someone."

I look him in the eyes and kiss him. I never knew losing Eli was going to hurt this much. Fitz ran off and i ran inside the house to call the ambulance. Eli was on the floor. He seems pretty hurt. I just don't want to lose him. They take him away and he has a request.

"Are you Clare Edwards?" The lady says to me.

"Well he wants you with him,you can take a ride in the ambulance hurry." The lady runs off and in the truck they hooked Eli up. I climbed in the back. They put a mask on him to help him breathe. I took his hand and sat beside him. Hoping this wasn't going to be our last goodbye.

"Eli don't die please i need you." He took one last look at me and closed his eyes. After that. The monitor began to beep fast,way to was like total chaos when that the monitor just went dead. People were running around to get something. They were too metal looking things that they put on Eli's chest and it was like electricity. But it didn't help. He wasn't coming back. I was in the corner of the truck crying. I wouldn't be able to see Eli again. He would be my first real love. because of me. I shouldn't have trusted Fitz. How could i be so stupid. The monitor slowly begins to go back to normal.

**LATER**

It has been a few hours since the accident. Eli is fine. He went in a coma. Apparently he lost too much blood. They didn't know when he was going to wake up. But i would be here threw it all. Soon his parent's were contacted and they came. I was in the hospital room holding Eli's hand for dear life. The nurse and his parents came in.I had to leave. Stupid fucking hospital rules. I didn't want to let go of Eli. I didn't want to leave. And then come back to him dead.I walked out of his room and looked up to see Adam. I ran in his arms and cried in his chest.

"Don't worry Clare everything is going to be alright."

"I don't know why i am so stupid. It is my fault. I did this to Eli."

"No you didn't, your not the one who shot Eli,Fitz is...that bastard i swear next time i see him i am going to kill him."

"Please don't,just leave it alone, I don't want you getting shot too."

"How is Eli doing?"

"He is in a coma."

"Oh"

"They don't know when he will come out. I can't take it. If only i wouldn't have gone to Fitz' house and stayed with Eli. This wouldn't be happening."

"It would have happened anyway. Fitz is a maniac,it could have been anyone i guess Eli was the final straw."

"No,Fitz said he did it to defend my honor...Which means i am the reason he shot Eli."

"Clare,please don't fight me on this. Eli loves you and would never blame you for this. So why would you blame yourself?"

I cry into Adams shirt. I just need someone right now. Fitz is gone. Eli is in a coma.I am all alone. Other than Adam. But he doesn't or won't understand. I did this to the man i love. Even though he did all that stuff to me. I couldn't hate him. Something inside stills hangs on to him. He is my rock.

"Clare,Were you there when..our baby boy got shot?"

"Yea,im so sorry."

"thank us who did this."

"Do you really want to know?"

".this."

"Mark Fitzgerald."

"That boy who has been bulling our baby boy,why did he do it?"

I broke down and ran into the bathroom. I didn't want to tell his parent's that i was the reason that Eli is in a coma. It would be heartbreaking. The girl he loved,technically got him shot. Who would ever want to tell someone that. I am horrible girlfriend. I don't care what i said in the past i love is i am his.

His parents Didn't bother to come and get me. They soon left for some reason,but i stayed. I went into Eli's room and began talking to him. Hoping that for some reason he hears me. That he hears my apology.

"Eli,i know you probably hate me right now,but i want you to know i am so sorry. For everything. I am sorry that i got you shot. I am sorry for overreacting about everything. I am sorry for cursing Juliet. I love you so much,and if i never get to hear your voice again. I will be heartbroken. And never love again. I just want you to wake up. I want you to kiss me. Touch me. Hug me. Anything. I just want you back. I don't love anyone else but you. And i never will. Just please,please come back to me. Eli i love you."

"Clare?"

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**Yea,i did that to hanger. Who do you think that is? hmmm i guess you will have to wait till the next chapter xD i have decided not to end the story now. Maybe a few more chapters. I might just keep this going until i HAVE to end it. Well i hope you liked it,and review please :) oh and my twitter is munrocfan so go rape the follow button. Well MANDUSHKI OUT PEACE AND LOVE XOXO**


	28. The Move

**So i got this chapter done in a hurry. Sorry if its like..not good but i think it is :) so enjoy **

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**CLARE-POV**

"Oh my god Eli your awake." i rush over to him and hug him.

"Yea i am awake. not so hard please."

"Oh yea,wait...how much of that did you hear?"

"Enough."

"That means all of it doesn't it?"

"Yea i heard all of it."

"Well i am so sorry,about everything."

"This isn't your fault,and i should be apologizing for everything i have put you threw,i overreacted about everything. I am honestly shouldn't be with me."

"But i wan't to be with you Eli,I am in love with you,and nobody my rock."

"Baby,i love you too,i don't think i deserve you"

"Who cares,i love you,you love me, everything is alright now,we can finally be together."

"It isn't that easy,i will never forgive myself for what i did to you.I scared you away so bad you ran to Fitz. I should have never laid a single finger on you."

"Well whats done is can't change the you can change the future,Get help, i don't care,just be with me."

"I will never be without you,i promise to love you forever,you..you still have my ring i gave you on.I would think that would be long gone."

"Oh Eli,even though we fought,i never stopped loving you,every second i was thinking about you,and how i missed you."

"I felt the same way,its just my disease gets in the way of everything."

"We can work around that,and i WILL move in with you,even though..you lied to me about that,i want to move in with you."

"Really Clare? Thats..thats great!"

I am so Glad Eli is awake,i don't know what i would have done if he didn't wake up.I would have been torn. I know i made the right decision. Eli wants help, he is willing to i believe that he does. I believe it. By now we are both crying. Thank god he didn't get shot anywhere life threatening.

His mom and dad were called to come to the hospital and so was Adam.I gave Eli,Cece,and bullfrog some time and i waited outside with Adam. He has a big smile on his face. I can tell he was happy Eli was awake. He knew he would. I should have believed him.

"So how is Eli doing in there?"

"He is doing fine,i feel so embarrassed though."

"And why is that?"

"I just finished pouring my heart out to him thinking he was asleep then he woke up and i found out that he was listening the whole time."

"AWW,how cute,its like in the movies."

"Well in the movies,its easy,in reality,its hard as pun intended."

"Clare,you have a dirty mind."

"Well if you got what i just said then you do too."

"I guess your right,well when his parents are done in there i think i might give him a visit,I mean i am only his best friend,ya know!"

"Well i wouldn't want to hough up all his time now."

As soon as i said that his parents came out with a cheerful smile on there faces. They came out and we talked for a while,Adam was in the room talking with Eli. I can tell Eli and Adam were having a good time. I saw them laughing threw the glass. His parent's said Fitz wasn't found yet and the cops wanted to talk to me. But i didn't want to. I already talked to them early what else do they need to know?Right now all i want to do is be with Eli and see where our relationship takes us from here.

The doctor said that Eli can leave the hospital today if he wants,or he could stay another couldn't wait to get the hell out of the hospital. Later on we drove him home and he asked his parent's if i can move in.

"Mom,dad,i need to ask you something." Eli said to his parent's

"Yes?"

"Can Clare move in with us?"

"Well Eli,thats a big things,are you sure? Me and your dad are out a lot and we need to trust that we won't me seeing little Eli's running around here"

"I know,we can even sleep in separate rooms if you want."

"No need for that,she can sleep in your room. We welcome her with open arms don't we bullfrog."

"Yup,those double begs came in handy now didn't they."

"Ew dad,shut up."

"Fine,fine"

Me and Eli went out to his car and drove to my house to get my things,my mom wouldn't really give two shits that i was leaving..maybe she'd be happy. When we went into my house she wasn't there. So we wen't up to my room and packed my bags.

"So are we really doing this Eli."

"Why are you regretting it?"

"No,it just seems unreal."

"Well its as real as can be. Now help me with your bags,you got a ton of clothes."

I helped him with my bags and put it in the back of his hearse. He started up the car and we drove back to his place. After we got settled everything. We laid down on his bed.I guess things are going to work out after all.

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**YAY finally not a cliff hanger right? so tell me what you thought of the chapter,maybe ideas for the next? and this won't be the last chapter i figure maybe like A LOT more chapters left..i probably won't make a sequel just continue on this story but put the sequel in like...this story...you get it? it will be like...PART 2. or something :) i don't know i will figure that out later...Well i hoped you liked it and tell me what you thought :)**


	29. Engagement

**Its finally here! sorry i took so long. I was busy. But this chapter is a VERY important chapter. You guys are gonna be sooo mad at me ;) **

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**ELI-POV**

Clare has forgiven me. I am hoping me and her have a happy ending. It's rare to see this happen. But i want to be the couple that everybody wishes they were. I want our relationship to be perfect. I couldn't ask for anyone better than Clare. I might ask her to marry me. She is the only one i have ever felt this way about. Not even Juliet can compare. She is my everything.

I call up Alli.I just want to be prepared if i feel like the time is right and i DO ask her to marry me. You can never be too ready right? Or am i in over my head. We'll just have to wait and see how this story works our relationship works out.

**_phone call:_**

_Eli: "hey Alli do you think you can meet me at the mall?"_

_Alli: "Uh your not Clare,but i guess so."_

_Eli: "Thanks Alli your a life savor."_

_Alli: "Uh no problem"_

**_phone call ends._**

Okay,so i got Alli to meet me. I defiantly need her for this. She knows what Clare likes.I mean not saying i don't,but...she is a girl.I grab my keys and start to head out the door when i feel someone pull me back and turn me around.

"And where do you think your going mister?"

"Too the mall"

"Why in the world would you want to go to the mall?"

"Well,are you sure you want to know?"

"Spit it out"

"Well i am getting something for you; it was a surprise. Well it still is. I am not giving you any more details on what i am getting you."

"Oh,come one,please?"

"NO;Goodbye Clare."

I head out of the house to the car,and drive off to the mall to meet Alli and find the perfect engagement ring for Clare. One that she will love. I am willing so spend SO much money on her. I do have a lot of money right now. Saved up in my account. I currently have 5,000 dollars.

When i get to the mall i don't see Alli so i call her again. She said she was already in the engagement shop waiting for me to arrive. I get out of my car and start heading there.I walk into the store to see Alli already has rings lined up for me to see.

"Okay lets get down to business.I have 4 rings here that Clare will be IN LOVE with."

"Well explain them to me please."

"The first was is 3, is a rose Gold Bezel Pave Diamond contains 53 cut round diamonds totaling 0.80cttw. Also the center bezel is built to hold a 1ct to 1.25ct round diamond."

"WHOA,that is so beautiful i could see me proposing with that ring."

"Well don't leave the other 3 out now."

"The next one is 3,390 it is a triple shank pave features 208 pave set round diamonds totaling 1.25ct."

"Thats pretty,but i don't think Clare will LOVE that,maybe like it."

"Well we have 2 more"

"No we don't i have the perfect ring."

"Which one?"

"It isn't any ring you picked out;it's thats one" I say pointing in the glass.

"MISTER,can you please take this ring out for me."

"That one? you won't afford that."

"You wanna bet,how much is it?"

"Its 4,678 dollars,little boy."

"It's,it's perfect!"

"Whoa Eli,you can afford that?"

"Look who is talking; the person picking out 3,000 DOLLAR RINGS."

"Fine,fine; i get the point."

"Now can you just pick the damn ring already." The person behind the counter said obnoxiously.

"I would like this rings please."

The person takes the ring out and brings it to the back. All i could think was this ring was amazing,and perfect for person brings it back to me in a little black box in the cutest little bag i have ever seen. He places the bag into my hands and walks away. Thats when me and Alli leave the store.

"Well,you didn't need me at all now did you?"

"I guess i needed you some what" I said with a smirk.

"I don't know why Clare loves your smirks so much;i thinks there obnoxious."

"I think you're obnoxious."

"Well than" She fake pouts and turns away.

"Aw;did i hurt your feelings." I say with a baby voice;she slaps me in the arm and i laugh.

"Well i will see you later Eli."

"Bye."

"Don't forget to tell me you're engaged AFTER you already said it. We don't want another one of those awkward moments."

"Sure thing Alli,goodbye."

"Bye."

We departed and i walked to my car. I drove home hoping Clare wouldn't be waiting for me. I don't want her to see this bag. You know girls. They sense everything. I couldn't help but think about how i am going to propose to the love of my life. When is the real question. I believe it will happen when it is suppose to happen. I can't rush the time is right i will propose. For now,all i want is to make her happy. Nothing more i want in the world than for my girl to be happy.

As i was driving home i stopped for gas. I went into the store to get something to snack on while i was driving home from the mall. I pay for my food and leave to go put gas in my car. As i was doing so i looked in the car and the ring was gone. I started to happened to the ring? I didn't leave my windows open. I run in the store to see the ring inside the bag untouched on the counter.I was thankful nothing bad happened.

I drove home and while i was driving there was a red light ahead. As i was slowing down the light turned green so i went. I regret that moment because right as i pass. I see the headlights of a truck about to crash right beside me.

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**Look at that,a cliff hanger. I had to do it to you guys. Well anyway when and if Eli proposes i will explain the ring he got her. I didn't want to give it away. Well tell me what you think is going to happen. Do you think he gets hit? **


	30. Punishment

**Ok so i know you guys are gonna like this chapter ;) and it is very lemony so you have been warned**

**and why the fuck does everyone do that disclaimer..im starting to think if i dont do it imma get in trouble .**

**clareandeliforever- Am i gonna i wasn't aware of that ;)**

**Azula Felinae-BOOYAH **

**eclarefanaticxoxo-I would never kill Eli,i would just...hurt him really bad ;)**

**iLUVmunro14-Your onto something **

**XxKayKayKayxX-You won't want to make me change it...trust me :)**

**

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ELI-POV**

The truck comes to a stop. Not hitting me at all. It was all in my head. These nerves must be getting to me. I continue to drive to the house. I pull up and take the little bag and bring it to my surprise was in the living room waiting for me.

"Hey Eli...so what'd ya get me?"

"None of your business."

"OH COME ONNNN PLEASEEE."

"Not this again,Clare...you'll know when the time is right."

"Your a whore."

"I am a whore,hu?"

"Yes..whore." She stuck her tongue at me.

"Now im gonna get you."

I put the bag down on the counter and run to get her. I playfully push her onto the couch and start to tickle her. She was laughing so hard she couldn't breathe.

"So am i a whore now?"

"No..now your a slut."

"I see how it is."

I start to tickle her even harder while kissing her neck. So she wanted me to stop but secretly didn't. A few minutes go by and i decide to give her mercy. She sits up and tries to catch her breath. It wasn't really a tickle fight. I was the once tickling her. I didn't even get tickled once.

"Your weak Clare."

"Says the one that just got shot...hoe."

"Now you've done it."

I lift her up and bring her upstairs to the room and i push her onto the bed. We kissed franticly until she sat up and pulled her shirt off. I pulled mine off soon after. She has a beautiful body. I kiss her up and down on her stomach. Slowly un-hooking her bra. I soon saw her bra fall to the floor.

I take her left nipple in my mouth and pinch the other. The moans coming out of her mouth were getting me so hard. My pants are getting tighter and tighter. Stupid skinny jeans. I switch off breasts and repeated the process.

"Oh yes,that feels so good."

"It doesn't,doesn't it Clare."

I began to un-button her skirt but she flipped us over and started ripping my pants off. She was so sexy when she took control. I couldn't let her have all the power. When she was done ripping my pants off. She pushed me down and started to dry hump me.

"Oh god Clare."

"You've been a bad boy Eli."

"I have? Your gonna punish me."

"Fuck yea i'm gonna punish you."

She starts to move her hips frantically on my now fully erect cock.

"God my dick."

"Is that what you really want?"

"Yes."

She pulled my cock out of my boxers. I twitched in her hands. I was painfully hard and if she didn't do something about it fast. I would die. She began to lick the side of my cock. Teasing me. Slapping my cock on her tongue.

"Clare don't tease me."

"Eliiiii patience is a virtue."

She took the tip of my cock into her mouth and began to suck genteelly. I couldn't help but thrust my hips up to push myself more in her mouth. She then took my full cock in her mouth sucking as hard as possible. This was so fucking good.

"Clare,keep going. Your amazing at this."

She just keep sucking. The sound of her slurping my cock made me go crazy. I turned pulled her head of my cock and flipped us over.

"You didn't think i was going to let you have all the fun know,did you?"

She smirked a smirk she learned from me.I pulled her skirt down with her panties,dipped my head down and started to suck on her Clit. I started off slowly put then i increased the pass. The moans coming out of her mouth were like no other.

"OH,OH,FUCK,FUCK,YEA"

I continue to suck her Clit while i run my middle finger up and down her wet,juicy,pussy. I push my finger all the way in her pussy and start to genteelly thrust it in and out. I soon added my index and ring ringer to the bunch. She was squirming like crazy.

"Oh god Eli,i want you in me right now."

I didn't have to think for a second i just went for it. I wasn't so gentle with her this time. I thrust erratically in and out while i suck on her neck. She loves that. I was a goner within minutes. I got her to her climax thankfully before i finished.

We were both out of breath and sweaty as hell. I couldn't love this feeling anymore. Especially since it is with Clare.

"Clare,your fucking amazing."

She smiled and i pulled her into my arms and we took slowly took a nap together.

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**CAAAABLLAMMMMMMM MAAAAA HOMIIEEEE, Yea i fail at writing sex parts..dont judge me :) **

**until next time..im mandushki..and your watching the 10 o'clock news...**

**LOL JK JK your just reading my story...well review :)**


	31. Pregnant yet again

**This is mad short. Just thought i would update i am not updated broken and beaten until tomorrow. I hope you guys like this chapter. It is going really quick. The ending is coming enjoy while you can ;)**

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**CLARE-POV**

Its been a month since me and Eli had sex.I have been feeling ,pregnant weird. What if i am pregnant? I know Eli will stay with me threw everything and anything,but i don't think i can do it. Not after the death of the first. I can't let that happen to me again.

I walked myself to the store to get myself a pregnancy test and i bring it back home.I go into the bathroom and i...do what i have to do. And i wait 3 ...What am i going to tell Eli? god dammit.

"Clare,i am home."

"Uh,i will be right down."

I franticly throw away the test in the bathroom garbage and walk out and fix myself to look walks up the stairs towards me.

"Hey babe." He kissed me on the cheek.

"Hey Eli."

"You ok Clare?"

"Yes,just fine."

"Could you,move? i have to use the bathroom."

"OH i am sorry hear you go."

I remove myself from in front of the bathroom and walk to his room. I sit waiting for him to get out. I hear him flush and wash his hands. But he didn't come out. A few minutes later he walked out of the bathroom to his room where i was. With my pregnancy test in hand.

"So,is this what your worried about?"

"Oh Eli..um what?"

"Your pregnant"

"Yea...i kind of figured that out."

"I hope you know i am not mad,i don't mind. It is like we get to make up the lost time we had with the first one."

"So you don't mind?"

"Of course not. I love the fact that you are pregnant."

"But won't we need to like move out. What will your parents say? what will mine say."

"Well its not like we haven't broken the news to them before."

"I know,but this is the second time this happened. How could we be so stupid."

"We are not stupid. This was meant to be Clare."

"Are you sure your not mad?"

"I am sure."

"Good."

He takes me into his arms and we share a passionate kiss. We fall onto his bed and lay in each others arms which felt like eternity. It felt right. Like this is what should happen.I was having Elijah goldsworthy's baby. And we will be a happy little family.

Nothing could go wrong from here.

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**There is so much doubt in the last sentence of the chapter :) do with that what you please ;) review and tell me if you liked it **


	32. Appointment

**Hello there. I know its been a while. You guys might have to wait all week next week for updates midterms start. So i really hope you stick around and see what happens because there is a lot coming up in this :there is a reason Eli is acting the way he is. And it is not because of his bipolar disease.**

**Azula Felinae:You'll see ;)**

**clareandeliforever: Yea baby time :)  
**

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**CLARE-POV**

Eli and i set up and meeting with my doctor 3 weeks ago. It is time to go and guess where Eli is? Nowhere to be found. He won't answer his cell phone. Nothing. He promised me he would be here for me. He always leaves when i need him the most. He goes out and comes home at 4 am. He isn't being supportive. He screams at me. Tells me i should have got a abortion. He has been horrible. I don't know why i am sticking around.

I can't help it i love the guy. Eli finally came threw the door. He looked like he didn't even want to be bothered with me. He walked right past me and went upstairs. He has been having his little out bursts. I don't know if he actually taking his pills. He has been throwing his little tantrums lately and i am getting sick of him never listening.

"Eli did you forget about that appointment?"

"No,my lord Clare you don't have to get at me like a dog. Stop trying to control me."

"Well you have to drive me."

"Can't you drive yourself?"

"Since when do i have a car?"

"FUCK CLARE FINE FINE LETS GO TO THE STUPID APPOINTMENT,I SWEAR TO GOD THIS PREGNANCY IS THE WORST THING TO HAPPEN TO US."

"Well you made this baby too."

"I know clare,but you,you've been suffocating me lately. God get some friends."

"Fuck you Eli."

"Don't threaten me with a good time."

I grab my purse and walk out the door waiting for Eli in front of morty. I waited a good 5 minutes then he came out in his leather jacket and rushed into morty. I went in the other side and we went to our baby's appointment.

_**AT THE APPOINTMENT**_

**_...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*********************************************************************_**

Eli has been standing by my side awkwardly as the doctor rubbed my belly with the cold cream to see the seemed like he didn't want to be there with me. He isn't even trying. He isn't himself lately. The doctor puts this thing on my belly and something pops up on the monitor.

"See that their?"

"Yea i see it."

"Thats the baby,we won't be able to tell the gender for another 3 weeks."

"Eli,Eli look at the screen its our baby."

"Yea,whatever."

I look at Eli in disbelief. I change back into my clothes and Eli drives us home. The car ride was completely silent. No loud music,no Talking. Nothing. I move over as far away from Eli as possible.I start to tear up a little. I guess Eli notices because he looks at me and rolls his eyes.

"You wanna tell me why your crying?"

"No."

"Well too bad. Spill."

"You don't care about me. Or this baby. I am alone here and your being a fucking douche bag."

"Are you done."

"Yes i am done. And soon,so will we"

"This is just your pregnancy hormones."

"No it isn't it is me talking."

"..."

"Nice Eli. I told you,you didn't care."

He stayed silent the whole ride. We arrived home and i hurried out of the car into the house. I ran into Eli's room and fell on the bed. Crying into the pillow. I hear his footsteps creep up to his room.I didn't want him coming to comfort me. He would just be a dick all over again the next day. I look at the door way and see him leaning against the door's side wall.

"Listen Clare,i am sorry i haven't been caring. It is just,i have a lot on my mind and this pregnancy isn't helping."

"What happened to you being happy that i was pregnant."

"That was then,this is now."

"I don't know how to deal with you."

"..."

"Well what am i suppose to do?"

"To be honest i don't know."

"Well maybe you shouldn't be with me if you feel that way."

"Maybe i shouldn't"

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**You guys hate me. I left it off like that. But i will try and update on have off on monday. but i have A LOT of studying too do. **

**I am out.**

**PEACE AND LOVE XOXOXOXO**


	33. Heroin

**Yes i know this is only like 400 words next chapter is the last sorry guys.I feel like this story is dragging on the next chapter will be long.I am going to put my everything in the next chapter. might take days to write but its for the readers.**

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**CLARE-POV**

"Maybe i shouldn't"

"Well than go eli,JUST GO"

"No Clare,i am sorry i am just...not in my right mind.I didn't mean that.I love you and i don't want to leave."

"Well than show it!"

"I will i promise."

He leaned in and kissed me walks to the coat hanger and hangs his walks past me into the living room. i hear his phone.I take it upon my self to look in his coat pocket for his phone,but instead i found...

"ELIJAH GOLDSWORTHY GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!"

"What Clare,what do you- whats that?"

"Its heroine...you mind telling me why the HELL you're doing heroine?"

"Ugh,i don't know what you're talking not mine."

"I found it in your coat pocket you asshole."

"Well,curiosity killed the cat."

"Yea...satisfaction brought it back..."

With that i grab morty's keys and run to his car.I don't car if i take his car and is a father to be and he is doing drugs.I can't believe has to go to rehab.I don't get him, we have a baby on the way.

**ELI-POV**

i fucked up and i just can't be or me always ruins it.i don't know what to do anymore.I take out the extra bag of heroine in my pocket,cause Clare took the first, i get down to business.

This time i took it whole. would care if i killed myself. not like my family would care if the baby would never meet his/her father.I'd just ruin their lives.I still haven't proposed to my beautiful girlfriend Clare.I go lay on the bathroom floor and take out the engagement ring.I start feeling i don't want to die.I want to be with Clare ,no,what did i do.

I can't fight it,my eyes are closing and darkness starts to engulf my vision.I don't know what to do.I was dying.

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**Not my best as i said the next chapter will be the last! so please review,it would make my day ;)**


	34. Fate

**I know this chapter took forever.I wanted it to be good.I wanted you guys to actually like it :) there won't be a sequel to you want one now on i am sticking to my stories i am working on now and takes time to get over a thousand words ya know ;) well enjoy the last chapter of lost within love.**

**Clare-POV**

I got a call from the hospital telling me Eli was also called and said he found him on the floor passed out.I can't handle this right baby and is too much i just can't.I needed some space from everything.I am afraid that this baby is going to be premature.

Once i got to the hospital i saw his parent's,Adam and looked like they were just came up to me and hugged me. "Clare,i am so sorry" "Why are you sorry? did he..." She gave me a heartfelt look.I didn't want to believe it.

Adam was a walking zombie when he came up to me.I could tell by the look in his eyes that something was seriously hugged me too.I ran up to the Eli's heart monitor was couldn't be dead. CeCe walked up to me and said "The doctors said it would be a miracle if he woke up,he really overdosed." "No,they have to save will i do? what will this baby do? i can't"

"It's okay Clare everything will be fine,Eli is a will make it threw" "But what if he doesn't" I quickly said. "Than..." We both started to cry.I couldn't lose Eli.I can't keep going threw this with can' JUST CAN'T DIE.

I feel the baby start to kick in my made me cry if Eli doesn't make it this baby wouldn't have a many times have i been threw this? Eli in the life is west side story.I walked out of the room and i saw Adam. "It feels like we have been threw this already." He says. "I know what you mean,But he will make it,right?"

Adam looks away and i could be the last time we ever see Eli breathing. All because of time it really was my fault though.I look at the promise ring he gave me a few months was still shining. I couldn't never stop loving Eli. Everything runs threw my first time with Romeo and Juliet .

The day he told me about Juliet.I had a bad feeling that this wouldn't wake the things we could have done short because he is stupid and decided to do what drugs will do to you.

Take you away from your unborn baby and family that loves could make this better for could tell me it will be in the end if he waked up,our relationship will never be the if he doesn't...i am heartbroken.I lose either way.

I walk towards the glass window and look at is on so baby was growing inside of only he knew the things he would leave behind if he left this earth.I start to tear and than i feel hands come around me.

It was his dad,bullfrog. "Clare,it'll be okay. If anything happens to Eli we will be here for you every step of the way." "Thanks bullfrog,it means a lot." He pulls me into a hug and watches Eli with something sudden happened.

Something i wouldn't have thought would happen in a million heart monitors are beeping and everything is pull metal things and all i hear is "CLEAR" And they shock and i are crying watching all of this happen.

They try it 2 more times and than give than i here the impossible. "Time of death 8:24 p.m" The doctors pull the covers over he was gone forever.I here sobs coming from everyone. This couldn't be is some sort of Clare wake up,please,but i wasn't waking up from this nightmare.

The doctors walk out of the room and give us a sympathetic looks. "I am sorry,Elijah Goldsworthy didn't make it." CeCe fell to her knees and cried "No,this can't my baby." We were trying to calm her it wasn't working.

It was official i was a single mother. The doctor goes in the room and grabs something from Eli's coat is a doctor walk out of the room and comes my can't possibly be anymore bad news.I can't handle baby can't handle anymore.

It felt like i was going to die i didn't want to hear anything else.I couldn't put myself threw anymore of is dead and i will never be the same will ever be the world is ending.I never though i'd have to bury Elijah Goldsworthy my boyfriend.

The doctor was getting closer and i was getting news oh boy.I am wiping the tears from my eyes trying to look who cares the father to my baby just died of a heroin overdose and everyone is freaking out.

Why should i stay calm.I was here for him threw everything and i am not allowed to cry?This was bull couldn't be gone he just couldn't!

"Are you Clare Edwards,his girlfriend?" "yes,yes i ?" "Um,i took a look at this before and i think he would want you to have it." I grabbed the box and was thinking of opening it.I opened it slowly and my eyes started to tear.

It was a ring.A engagement ring.

**I am sorry i had to do that to Eli,but i think i like my stories dark :)Review and tell me what you think of the you want i can write an alternate ending :P where eli doesn't die and he proposes in the hospital or tell me if you want it :)**


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